Thoughts Unleashed.

My Influence

2010-03-07T00:52:00.003+08:00

It's funny how 5 people from a small town in the US can influence an average joe living hundreds of miles away.

Well they did it for me anyway.

I can't imagine another band that would make me wanna go all the way and take all the trouble to see them.

Pretty much what I do with my drum sticks came off from this 5 people.

What do I expect?

Hmmm..

Maybe the itch again? I used to have this tingling sensation when I watch other bands on stage before. It got me all restless, sweaty and tingly.

I've forgotten how that feels like again.

Maybe it will visit me again soon. :)

The Engaged Rockstar Wanna Be

2010-02-06T11:39:00.006+08:00

Well I got engaged. :)

Sometimes I like to think of Engagement as being "engaged" or "locked on" to all the responsibilities of becoming a family man. Just like a bird which builds its nest with dry sticks and leafs from scratch, suddenly thoughts and plans which we used to think "far away" or for "older men" land right in the hands which you used to hold the ring in proposal.

Nothing wrong with it. It's enjoyable. And you realize, that to go through all this plans and to do life together, love is the most important thing that holds both of you together. Without it, all the plans stand on sinking sand, waiting to crumble anytime.

I guess the difference between me and other engaged men is that I still wanna be a rockstar.

Recently attended Saosin concert, and heading with my band to Paramore in March.

It's been a while since I attended a concert. Being it local or foreign.

and it does something to you, everytime I see someone rocking it out on stage, every single time, at every different stage in life.

every time I watch a concert on youtube, it gives the same chilling feeling to me too.

the challenge for me, is being an engaged rockstar wanna be.

I dread the day when I have make a decision, if I ever have to, give up my rocking dreams. I don't wanna wait till I'm too old, with creakin' bones, or have to go back to a kid right after every concert, to do this.

I'm at this stage in life where something's just waiting to burst, to explode. Being it in my career, my dreams.. I feel like a raging tiger, being locked up, with all the energy, just waiting for the key to unlock and unleash the person I am.

I shall wait.

I shall wait upon the Lord.

Till then, I shall enjoy the view from here.

28

2010-01-05T23:37:00.002+08:00

Well I guess that's that.

28 came and went. I still can't believe I'll be hitting the number 3 in two year's time. How can that be?

I've been thinking of how to sum up 2009 for the past few days ever since the dawn of the new year. I guess I'd say 2009 was a year of coming of age, and turning young again.

Coming of age because my years caught up with me, and I found myself lying on the hospital bed waiting for surgery on my knee, and few weeks later, found myself staring at the ceiling of the dentist's clinic while listening the sounds of drilling within my teeth.

It took a toll on me when I had to walk on crutches, and had to suffer the ever nagging pain on my knee while recuperating. Mentally, I'll never able to kick a ball freely, or jump and sprint as carelessly as before.

I turned young again when I turned to new hobbies and interest. Transformers came and never left. Heh. I started on beginner's photography and toy painting. What started as an interest paid off when I had to use these skills in my new work project that I've been handling for the past 6-7 months. Nah, not the toy painting. Tho I hope some day it might pay off too. heh.

I came to understand myself a lil' better. I thought I had no insecurities, and that insecurities are for weak people. Only to find that having that thought itself is my very own insecurity.

I wonder what's installed for me in 2010?

I've begun to embark on a journey of searching for my one passion. I'm still naive to think that I will be able to true-ly enjoy my "work" and earn big bucks from it.
Not that it sucks where I'm at, but there's still something missing. I feel that I've not yet hit the G-spot in my career.

Somethings still don't change tho. I still wanna be a rock star. :)

I still love music. I still love drums.

I wonder how would I like look back at 2010 1 year from now?

Well, I guess I should give thanks. Give thanks for being alive. I should consider making 28 an achievement.

After all, not everyone gets to get here. :)

I will never forget.

2009-11-28T13:39:00.002+08:00

I watched this video some time ago...few years back..If I remember correctly...

and I made a vow that the sounds that I make from the drums..will be heavenly and life changing.

Yes, I do get admirations...get praises..and affirmation..and whatever you get from making the loudest noise on stage..I admit..

But there's nothing more satisfactory..nothing more powerful than to see a man giving up his most prized talent...and to see it combine with the power of the most high God..

this is where you can "see" the beauty of music..and not listen..

Dark Nights

2009-10-14T00:16:00.002+08:00

Just remembered the topic that was shared last sunday service.

Well it's not exactly dark nights for me. No thunderstorms lightning flashes tsunamis or earthquakes.

But yea, it ain't a bunch of roses with sunshines at the moment.

Hm...been a while since I articulate my experiences in words here. Most of the time I just like pouring pictures on the blog now.

Anyway, its the first time that I have a burden weighing on my shoulders for so long. Well, this time it's not just me tho. It's us. We. On Our shoulders.

I've got mine and she's got hers. Feels like we keep bringing our problems to Him and still nothing happens. If our troubles are on a bowl, feels like it's been "rendam-ed" with prayer sauce over and over again till it's all soggy.

Every day I wake up and work my socks off and we still face the same freakin' problem. Yea. I know the whole team feels it too.

Every day she wakes up and she faces the same freakin' problem too.

We're running out of ideas, running out of resources. I'm running out of words to encourage too.

We keep telling ourselves soon, soon.. we'll see the light at the end.. But no..it doesn't feel that way now.

Lord, why is it this long this time? This time, it's the duration, not the intensity.

Mm..

Dinner time! (picture continuation)

2009-09-12T15:24:00.016+08:00

Dinner Time!!

It's been a while since I was able to enjoy home cooked food..so any effort to cook it up is warmly welcomed. :)

The ingredients...

The "chefs"....

The results...

YUM.

My new camera

2009-09-07T23:27:00.015+08:00

Phew. Been ages since I last visited here. Much has happened. But I think I'll just let the pictures speak for itself.

Bought myself a new camera, Lumix LX 3. One of THE most coveted cameras in the market. Believe me, it took quite a hunting before I got myself this baby.

Anyway below are the first few shots I took with my new camera during my recent trip to Muar.

SLR quality? :P

These pictures were taken without flash and under extreme low light conditions.

F 2.0, S 8, ISO 200

F 2.0, S 1/30, ISO 200

Got meself a very willing model. :)

Internet speed is turtle slow. Will upload more shots for next post.

How are the pictures?

my 1 year

2009-07-11T15:08:00.003+08:00

Come 1 August I will be working 1 year in Deloitte now.

And I have but thanksgiving in my heart.

Till this day, I'm still amazed at how I got in the first place. After understanding more of the scope of the job, I really don't have the qualities and requirements to join in the first place! It is really God's divine intervention that I'm here. The timing of me joining was perfect. Seriously it is so perfect, no fate, no men but only God could have arranged it.

Why?

If I had relied totally on my previous job before that, things wouldn't be so rosy. The economy took a serious turn to the worst just after a few months I joined. How would have I survived no one would know. Especially as it is an economy-sensitive job.

Morever, the company itself was the icing on the cake. Joining a company during that time, if your company was badly affected by the company, you'd be the first out. Last in, First out. Yea we were affected, but not a major impact. We are still hiring till this day. Imagine the stability of this company.

Anyway, to tell the truth, I really had nothing going in. I was a salesman, for goodness sake. All I knew was making appointments and convincing people to buy my products. ( no offense to anyone, sales is a fantastic job) But this job requires so much more. The people they hire are brilliant people, even for fresh grads, they only take overseas graduates. Halo, I'm local Alor Setar-sawah-padi guy. hehe.

But to this date, I really thank God for the favor He has showered on me. And also for the patience of my immediate boss and my colleagues.

I can't believe I went by one year sitting from 9 to 5 in the office! I used to tell people I can't sit still. It's still true to a certain extend, but I feel it's like studying all over again. When you have something on your mind to settle, you WILL sit there work the problem.

I can see the vast changes in my life since I joined here. I've gotten a taste of a really corporate, corporate work environment. Shirts, neckties and slacks. My english has improved a LOT. Speaking and writing. Cut down on the la's and ma's. I've been trained on carrying myself well. Business etiquette. My brain is working now. HAHA. Yea it's true. Consultative work requires you to THINK. I felt that I left my brain hidden in a closet 5 years in uni. Erm.. oh yea I did take it out. Exam time. After that I put it straight back again. HAHa. Now, everyday I come back from work exhausted mentally. Not so much physically. That's why proper amount of sleep is required for me to perform optimally. Now, it feels like everyday's exam period. hAHah.

I've had the priviledge of rubbing shoulders with high level personels, high flyers of the society. VPs, Directors, Senior Management. Still yet to touch base with CEOs and CFOs. Through my time with them I've learnt so much from them. Everyone of them started just like me, but it is their passion and drive that brings them to where they are today.

Overall, there's still so much more things to learn, projects to experience. I really thank God for this.

It's that TIME of the YEAR!!

2009-06-16T23:12:00.009+08:00

One more week....

ONE MORE WEEK!!

I've never gotten so excited over something for a long long time... It's like a volcano...and when it explodes you just can't contain it..

YES. TRANSFORMERS IS BACK!!

*bounce bounce bounce*

The anticipation. Oh man... you start to do all the fanboys stuff...you start to talk transformers..you start looking at cars on the road thinking..." are they decepticon or autobots?" heheh....you start to buy autobots or decepticon logo and stick on your car...you start to get transformers theme songs as your ring tone and the " chi kik kik" transform sounds as your sms tone...

This year they are back. and bigger. you see newer bots, bigger, nastier bots, and I bet the action is twice the size!! wohOOOOO!!

Newer and nastier robots..

Cooler and slicker bots..

AHhhh..CAnnot Tahan liao!!!~~~

The Bass Guitar

2009-05-31T10:22:00.001+08:00

Drummers usually appreciates the bass guitars the most. That's because in a setting the chemistry between drums and bass it's the tighest, it's like a marriage. Whatever happens, we have to play as one.

I always feel that the music where we play, whether church or band, the bass guitar is so underused. Most of the time it's a "cheng cheng cheng" rock tune, and that's it. There's so much potential and power a bass guitar can bring into a song. So much more space and possibilities for a bass player to explore, if they are willing to make full use of their expensive bass guitars.

Playing drums for umpteenth years, the problems for drummers is that we have no control over melodies whatsover.

Flea:
" I don't think equipment really matters at all, equipment is really meaningless. The thing is if you can't really feel something with your fingers and with your heart and if you don't have anything to say with the instrument then it doesn't matter what you have. Kids that want to play music, if they can afford to buy a big expensive guitar it really means nothing because if your heart is in it and they dedicated themselves to the instrument they'll be better anytime than the lame-o with the fancy instrument.

I watch this kid play bass, and it's making me wanna take a drive to the closest music shop, purchase a bass guitar and start learning bass. hehe..

Should I?

Blink 182 IS BACK!!!!

2009-05-17T08:46:00.003+08:00

YES!! They are back together!! This was the band that revolutionize my drumming style, and changed my music as well. I used to collect lots of their live MTVS, and would watch them over and over again, every day. How could you not love their sick, crazy and random jokes during their live performances?

This summer they're going to tour with Weezer and Fall Out Boy. Or rather, FOB is touring with them. They got the word later. Check out their first performance back together!!

May 15 2009 11:24 AM EDT

Blink-182 Return To The Stage In Los Angeles

The reunited group plays surprise three-song set at a T-Mobile party.

By James Montgomery, with reporting by Matt Elias

HOLLYWOOD — It had been four and a half years since Blink-182 performed together on a stage — at a December 2004 gig in Dublin, Ireland, to be exact. Well, now it's been nearly 12 hours.

On Thursday night, the reunited Blink returned to the stage at a T-Mobile party at the Paramount Studios, ripping through a surprise three-song set before an audience of stunned (and thoroughly hyperventilating) guests.

Blink tore through "The Rock Show," "Feeling This" and "Dammit," showing no signs of rust (or any ill effects of their sometimes contentious breakup), as they laughed, struck rock-star poses and cracked jokes.

"This is our first show after hating each other's guts," bassist/singer Mark Hoppus announced after "The Rock Show," to the delight of all in attendance.

The surprise Blink show capped off a night that also featured performances by Weezer — who will share the bill with Blink and Fall Out Boy on a rather ginormous summer tour — and Blink drummer Travis Barker's side project, TRVS/DJ-AM. Barker, ever the iron man, didn't even leave his kit after his hourlong set with DJ AM, drumming right into the Blink performance.

MTV News was there, and will have more news, photos and video from the surprise Blink gig — interviews with the bands, performance footage from the big reunion show — later in the day. But if you want even more, Hoppus has already posted several pictures from the party on his blog, and wrote about his reactions to returning to the stage. Hint: He felt good.

"To be honest, it was one of the best nights of my life," he wrote. "Thanks to everyone who was there. Thanks to T-Mobile. And most of all, thanks to Travis and Tom. You are my brothers, and it feels amazing to share the stage with you once again."

Comments 1 - 8 of 8

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	merritt182 posted on 05.16.09 at 03:38am flag I AM SOOO UPSET I WASNT THERE!!!!!

talesfromthepit.net posted on 05.16.09 at 03:09am

flag

James, On the "sell out" bit - sadly selling out is the only way bands can make it these days. Sure it sucks to hear (insert indie darling band here) on a car commercial, but that car commercial allows the band to record/tour etc. Even if Guitar Center has a sale every dang weekend, it is not cheap to create music/tour etc. I think the notion of "selling out" is long gone. Selling out should now be dubbed survival.

talesfromthepit.net posted on 05.16.09 at 03:08am

flag

nytefall20, I think there is nothing more beautiful than seeing a musician perform, knowing they are playing songs that were hits years before you were born. Over the past few years, I have seen Willie Nelson and Neil Diamond, and every "old timer" who I talked to at those shows were stoked to see a kid my age (late 20's) enjoying music that should be "too old" for me. The fact that bands like Blink/Green Day/Weezer have been able to reach generations who were in diapers when the songs were released speaks volumes on the quality of music those bands produced.

	mtvjames posted on 05.16.09 at 02:28am flag how old are you, nytefall? 40? is it even possible for bands to "sell out" anymore?

	nytefall20 posted on 05.16.09 at 02:12am flag They should tour with Green Day and call it the 'We Sold Out Years Ago' Tour. Most of the kiddies that'll see these guys were friggin 10 years-old when both bands released decent music. $$$$ rules all.

	Kurloderisatool posted on 05.16.09 at 01:44am flag Angels & Airwaves are better than Blink...SORRY KIDS!!!

	blinkava7 posted on 05.16.09 at 01:17am flag I can't wait

	MCarpo posted on 05.15.09 at 11:41pm flag Glad to see them back! I'll bet anything that they play a surprise set at this weekend's KROQ Weenie Roast in L.A., especially since Weezer and TRVS/DJ-AM are playing as well. Can't wait to hear the new songs.

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The First movie where I cried

2009-05-16T08:36:00.002+08:00

This is the first movie I watched that I cried... hehehe....

I remember the moment when Optimus finally died...I cried....it was like.....NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?? MY HEROO!!!

But in the end when Hot Rod whipped Galvatron's @ss it was so cool! I was jumping together with him! It was like YEA!! You got the POWERRRRR!!!

and the 2 days ago we were having lunch when my girl colleague suddenly asked me " Eh eh you know ar..whatisname...the leader of the good guys in transformers..eh eh...wats his name ar...."

Smacks head..

Recording and Krispy Kreme

2009-05-10T18:25:00.006+08:00

Recording.. Have been sleeping 2.30, 3am the past whole week recording the church's 2nd EP..

Had my first encounter with Krispy Kreme...This donut is just plain SWEET. And I mean Sweet. Sugar. That's all I taste.

Ja.

Actsperiment Recording

2009-04-28T22:59:00.001+08:00

Below is the video of our recording for our upcoming church song " Just Believe".

Where's my drum pill? hehe...

My typical day

2009-04-24T19:41:00.002+08:00

Here's an example of one of my schedule last week:

6.45am : Wake up
7.30am : Gym
9am : Work
6pm : Rush off from work
7pm : Band practice for gig the following day
9pm : Rush off from practice
9.30pm : Give drum replacement class.
10.30pm : Lesson ends.

The Following Day:

9am : Work
6pm : Rush off from work
7pm : Sound check at Laundry
8pm to 11pm : Dinner at Laundry and lepak
11pm : Gig with Two Hand Band
12am : Go back.

Here's an example of one of my schedule THIS week:

9am : Work
6.30pm : Rush off from work
7.3opm to 10pm : Church practice
10pm to 2am : Set up for Recording
2am to 2.30am : Recording ( 2 takes )
3am : Sleep.

Here's an example of my schedule TOMORROW:

6.30am : Wake up
7am : Sound check at Jaya One for IACT Street Party Gig
9.30am : Drum Class
2.30pm : Class End.
3.30pm : Reach Jaya One
4.00pm : Gig starts
5.00pm -night : TBC.

I can say for the past 2 weeks my life is : eat.sleep.work.drum.eat.sleep.work.drum.

Though it's really tough to handle it, when I'm old-ER I can now safely say I haven't wasted a single moment of my youth and energy. :)

Recovery

2009-03-16T11:52:00.002+08:00

2 weeks ago I busted my knee playing futsal. Tore my meniscus in the process. Was on crutches for the first few days, went for MRI scan and doc told me I had to go for surgery. While wincing that I need to go for a surgery, I still thank God that no bones were broken, no ligaments were torn.

So I went for surgery last Saturday and here I am now a week later, and I can walk already, though still limping like an old man.

"Recovery" started the moment right after impact from the injury on the futsal field. Ever since then, my body's just going thru a lot just to recover back to the second before impact. And I'm still in this midst of "Recovery". My leg's lost all it's strength after surgery, I can't walk properly, I can't jump, I can't run. Climbing stairs is an effort. Besides that, ulcers as big as the craters on the moon started to developed in my mouth due to my body going through stress post surgery. My throat hurts every time I talk or laugh. I can't eat properly, and the pain I experience whenever I put something in my mouth is unbearable.

It's funny when you're strong and healthy you seem to forget the ability to do all those things with ease. When I was lying in the hospital, I envied all those nurses that could walk. I watched the people in TV, and wondered how miraculous that those people could run and jump. When eating, I envied those who could just gobble down their food and enjoy every taste without wincing in pain.

When lying on the steel metal waiting to be hosed up and cut opened, you can't help but wonder about life. You feel frustrated inside, and ask yourself why are you here when there's so much to be done.

When recovering at home, I felt useless that I can't even walk properly, that I had so much difficulty just to put on clothing.

Recovery. I guess it's not only physical.

one of the best bassist in the world

2009-02-27T23:42:00.003+08:00

Behold, one of the greatest masters ever to grace to stage with a bass guitar...Flea!!

the first part you can see the interviewer just randomly spewing a story and Flea plays the bass according to the story!! so freakin' cool!!!

*ahem* *ahem* hopefully this will inspire *someone* to start opening up his genre and start exploring funk and groove styles.

actually, come to think of it, i hope ALL my bassists in church will learn to groove/funk style. I feel it's one of the few genres where the bass actually stand out and play a major role in the music style. so much more fun compared to the normal "jeng jeng jeng" for rock songs rite? rite? rite?

My first Drum Solo

2009-02-22T19:21:00.003+08:00

After (27-11=16) 16 years of drumming, gosh, (I've been playing drums for so long already?) , Today I played my first "real" drum solo in front of 700 people.

It wasn't Dave Weckl quality, quite a humble and simple routine I came up with for the past 3 days.

It's not something to shout about tho. But I just wanna dedicate to God for giving me this opportunity.

Just before my cue to start, I actually pointed my sticks upwards. Looked up and whispered " This is for you, God."

Ja.

My Music Discography

2009-01-28T18:02:00.025+08:00

So...here am I with nothing much to do during this CNY...so I had this lil' idea of doing my little "discography". Basically it's just looking back in time when I first loved music and actually started liking a single artist, or a band...and how I started listening and following the progress of different types of music and bands...

It's a Chronology of Music!! Hah...I reckon every music lover should do it at least once.

So, we shall start then, tho I dunno how this might end up.

I remember my first few songs I listened and will sing along with it (apart from nursery rhymes) were the oldies like " Tell Laura I love her", and "Speedy Gonzales"...hehehe...but to me my FIRST artist which I actually REMEMBEREd the lyrics and sang along was....

Don't get heart attack....

Yes! Hahahaha...Really...I was I think 9 or 10 years old...everyone was into the " dui ni ai ai ai bu Wan" craze...so I just tagged along....hahah...

So the same goes to..

and

Yup yup...laugh all you want...:p
Then when I hit 11, 12 years old...there was this friend of mine who was so into this guy who called himself Meatloaf.

His songs were quite anthem-ic, and quite ballad driven. However, tho his lyrics dont really speak of it, his album covers were quite crazy.

Being a Methodist conservative that time, I was torn between actually listening to this and the curiosity of my heart to explore more the music world. Of course, my friend introduced to me Michael Bolton to me during that time. Heh. I thought he was cool then.

When I hit 13, I called it my first contact with Rock Music. I met this dude in my new secondary school, and because I told him he looked like Tom Cruise, (which I thought he looked a bit like), hehe.. He was so happy he grabbed a couple of his cassettes (yup, it was cassettes back then), and passed it to me and said " Hey, try listening to this babys. "

The moment I listened to "this babys", there was no turning back.

Bon Jovi

Guns n Roses

Ugly Kid Joe

Green DAy

Yep. You see, it was the teenage years. Rebellion years, they called it. I broke all tradition and teachings of not-listening-to-devil-music by my peers and elders and indulged myself in heavy guitar shredders, thumping drum lines and high pitch screamings. Hehe.. I was so into green day that I saved RM 5 per week allowance so bad just to buy the RM 13.90 cassette for their new album!!

I would have my cassette walkman strapped on my pocket, put on bon jovi's "you can't give love a bad name" , and cycle to school for my curi culum. :)

However, the following years, just like Moses and the Israelites, I kinda wandered into the wilderness.. So..I started listening and snapping my fingers to..

Sighs...

and

SSiighhss..

Hey, don't judge me k? Admit it, you DID listen to them as well..k? k? k?

Anyway, moving on..

after I was done with secondary school, moving into MMU, it was a lot of change to me in terms of music. I stepped out of Don Moen's " God is good all the time", and I moved into Planet Shaker's "Everyday" and " Free".

So, for the first few years, at least 1,2 years of my uni life, music was pretty much getting in love with planet shakers and united live. I even remember my drum "si fu" asked me that time, who are my drum heros, I stared at him blankly, and said " erm....planet shaker's drummer? sorry ar, don't know his name also. "

Finally, soon after that, I got back to where I left off. Imagine the hiatus!!!

Guess who got me back on track again?

Yep. Or I think it was more of...

I was just blown away by his speed and creativeness on the drums. I wanted to play like him, I wanted to be so cool like him. It was because of him, serious, that I made the decision to change my settings from a 2-tom setting to a 1-tom setting.hehe.

I collected 2gb of their LIVE videos, and watched them over and over again, everyday. I learnt his rolls, and I loved their crazy videos between shows when they just played jackass stunts around.

Next up,

I went on to ..

FYI, it was because of Taylor Hawkins on the drums, that I switched my cymbals from low to high. keke. It really looked reeeeeeeally cool.

and

Yellowcard

and finally, my first entry from punk based into emo-based..

My Chemical Romance.

When I first heard "helena" , I hated it. But because of the power of repetition thanks to our local radio station, I learnt to accept it, and eventually, like it. Then came their hit " I'm not okay (I promise)" , I just fell in love with them! Soon I find myself watching their live vids everyday as well.

So, well, I ventured into the emo-world and I never really came out of it. I went into my favourites...and I started liking the screamos and crazy heavy guitars...

The USed

Saosin

Story of the year.

and of course...

Yep. So this is it until now, based on what I've scanned through my most frequently played list and most number of vids on my pc. Of course these are not the only bands I listen to..These the ones that have influenced me heavily into who i am today musically. I will not exclude other important names such as Linkin Park, Incubus, Switchfoot, Oasis, Limp Bizkit, Anberlin, 30 sconds to mars, Mr Big, so many more.

Of course, I have also exposed myself to groove and funk, which I appreciate it immensely. However, stuff that I don't really touch and are not really into are pop, r&b. " No thanks" to stuff from Rihanna, Akon, Usher, Shawn Kingston, Kingston hardisc...laalala..you get the point.

However, seems like nowsadays, I do seem to like to get a bit into ..

Underoath

As I LAy Dying

one period I was really into..

Korn

So much so , that my first and only snare drum to-date that I purchased was a signature series from the drummer, David Silveria. Price = RM 2.8k

Finally,

for occasional fun tit -bits, I sometimes you-tubing them and chuckle and giggle while watching them. I'm not making fun of them. Their music is tight and real powerful. Just that I like their show performances. I wish my drum stage and go up and make 360deg spins too.

They are...

Slipknot.
Oh ya, they just changed their masks recently.

Anyway, these pretty much sum up the last 20 years of my music listening life. Maybe I should do another one for the next 20 years. Hehe..

Hey for those who know me please care to chip in any more bands that I've left out that I'm quite into..

JA!

Under Headlights

2009-01-25T14:52:00.009+08:00

oh YEahh.... ^ ^

2009-01-08T01:00:00.002+08:00

THIS is how you should play Planet Shaker's Songs... :P

Enjoy. :)

27

2009-01-06T11:48:00.002+08:00

I turned 27 , 2 days ago.

I just wanna thank all my friends who celebrated my existence in their lives. This year is a record, I've blown candles on 3 whole cakes, plus 1 minicake and a slice at TGIF.

For all who sang birthday songs to me and left messages in my Facebook, a big THANK YOU!!

27.

Gosh, I'm 27 already! 3 more years and I'll be hitting 30. @_@

I still feel like I'm 25. Though at 27 most guy bachelors would be thinking of settling down, getting a property, get married, have kids, soar in their career. Yea I do have that all in my head, but it's just still some way off, you know.. Heck, I even have friends my age expecting their first child this year. heh..

Achievements. That's what came into my mind when I woke up the day I turned 27. What have I achieved? How is my journey thus far?

Btw, what ARE achievements? How do you define "achievements"? Position in the company? Big cars? Financial stability? Trendy clothes? Or maybe band achievements? A rock band? Recognition? Relationship? Money?

There are no right or wrong answers. Everyone chases after their dreams. It came a time where I asked myself , what ARe my dreams again? What WERe my dreams before? Have I forgotten about them already?

Then I realised...

Our life on earth here is too short for us to chase after what's valued and important here. I'm 27. Who knows how long I have here left. Another 50 more years, probably I'd said enough, get my out of here. So I realised that the most powerful thing here on earth is not the human spirit. The "things" I mentioned above are fruits of a powerful human spirit. If you are strong within, the above will be the results shown in the exterior.

But the most powerful, the world has yet to see, will be when the powerful human spirit submits to a All Powerful God. I am reminded of why I'm still here. I did not escape 2 near-death situations before (I will tell another time) to just spend the rest of my life chasing after what everyone's chasing.

It's been a wonderful 27 year old journey. I am thankful for everything. Now, let's get ready for a journey beyond time.

Ja.

Current going-ons

2008-11-15T16:02:00.002+08:00

Sitting at a coffee house waiting for my car to get serviced... A whooping RM 800. Tyres, Bearings, Alignments...

I'm so so broke.

Current going-ons. Few weeks back literally an "old school friend" of mine text me and said something like " Hey, heard you got a gf now. You got band, gf, good job, life must be good right?"
It made me giggle tho. I used to look at people with that type of status and admire them. They seem to have it all. They seemed to be "enjoying the full life of a young working adult. "

I have no complains actually. I count myself blessed to have all this given to me.

Text-ed my friend back something like this which caught me off guard as well. It went something like " Yea, thanks. To be given all these is a bonus, but to maintain it is a challenge."

I realised expectations rise as you venture deeper. In all aspects of life. In church, in relationships, in work. Pretty soon you find yourself rushing here and there, running about, to fulfill someone else's expectation. Just to make sure you don't disappoint someone. I'm talking about everything, don't get me wrong. Church elders, love ones, colleagues, your bosses. And you realise that you can't please everyone, no matter how hard you try to avoid it.

I'm not one who will say " just leave me alone" ... That's a sign of immaturity. But sometimes I just hope for grace, when I miss the mark..

That aside, the trip to Singapore was such a blast. Was thinking of going back there after Christmas, but seem that it might be all blown away when I think of paying for my car later.

Sighs.

The whole saturday to myself. Here am I waiting for my car. Still, it IS a luxury I don't get to taste that often.

TASTE OF CHAOS!!!

2008-10-25T09:00:00.007+08:00

TASTE OF CHAOS!!

Guitar Swinging. Back flips. Screamos. Heavy Distortions and double pedals. Jumpin' crazy atmosphere.

No more eye sores watching local bands with fro hair and skinny jeans getting emo on stage.
No more emo instrumental music where the intro itself takes 5 minutes.
No more place where half the crowd doesn't even know who's on stage, the half of half the remainder listens to band playing once in a while and claps when it's done, and the remainder of the crowd are making out below stage.

TASTE OF CHAOS is HERE!!
Date : 8th November 2008
Time : 7pm
Venue : Fort Canning Park (Singapore)

Bands line up

1.) MUCC ( Some Jap band. sounds like Manchester United Charity Club or something..) Maybe I'll just put this

2.) As I Lay Dying!

3.) Atreyu

4.) And my all time FAvourite..

STORY OF THE YEAR

Ican'twaitIcan'twaitIcan'twaitIcan'twaitIcan'twaitIcan'twaitIcan'twaitIcan'twait......

*on the sidenote*

Under Headlights is currently under going recording. Will keep you guys posted for our "single" release.

:)

STORY OF THE YEAR

2008-10-03T01:26:00.002+08:00

Remember Story of the Year band? I remembered I put up a video of them doing their song "Sidewalks" on my blog and people started liking this song..

Remember the video I showed some of you guys of them playing live, and one of their guitarist, Phillip Sneed took off his guitar, threw it to a guy nearby, ran up the amp, did a backflip, came back, put on his guitar and started playing again??

Well now you have BOTH their guitarist, Ryan doing the same thing TOGETHER.

You have 2 guitar toss, thrown opposite directions and 2 backflips together.

THEY ARE COMING TO SINGAPORE!!!!!

YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!!!!!!!!

THEY REALLY ROCK!!!

Nose Bleed.

2008-09-23T00:14:00.001+08:00

Nose bleed...saliva drooling.....eyes drop...all in one....

*thumps on the floor with fist*

I WANT IIIIIT!!!!

The little things in life..

2008-08-24T16:39:00.002+08:00

After 7 days of rushing for practices like a madman..
3 days of rocking music blasting in your ears..
2 crazy pumping, jumping adrenaline-rushing gigs in 1 night..

Here am I..

In my comfy shell..
The rain is drizzling in the outside..
With a nice steaming cup of coffee sitting beside me..
Frank Sinatra sweetly singing the blues to me on my speakers..
Slowly browsing through my mails...
Reading blogs and news..

Aahh..

So..so..Schweet..

Life is sweet now. :)

Lalidum..la di di dum.....

Updates!!

2008-08-17T22:12:00.025+08:00

Been a while. So much has happen. Well I'll just let the pictures do the talking then..

In no particular time line..

Under Headlights performed for One Life Revolution @ DUMC Dream Centre

Without our regular bassist.......yet...

Enjoyed our gig, enjoyed the exposure, but not really the environment though..Oh well...Under Headlights will be performing for Revolution Conference this saturday 23/8 @ Acts Church Summit 8pm. This time will our FULL BAND. YAY!! Come for the Revo Conference!! =)

Trip to Lang Tengah.

It was really good rest for the body, mind and soul. Enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.

Star Gazing. An experience no words can describe.

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! No! It's a plane! No! IT'S....

Stuff coming out of my nose...

Made a trip back MMU sometime ago...ahhh...the nostalgic...it hits you everytime you see all these...

This is my youngest student. He's so cute. His name is Ryan. 6 years old. Everytime he comes to class he proudly shows me his colour pencil set and his super power canggih race car pencil box. hehe...

My 2nd youngest student. Not as cute as the first one. Much more of a squirming can't-sit-still hyper active kid who loves screaming " LET'S GO!!" randomly.

and his brother...

and when he got bored he did a drawing on me...

Hey guys did you know I'm working @ Deloitte now?

As an Executive Search & Selection Consultant. Don't know what's that ask me later...

The view from 19th floor.. It really is beautiful.

and the price I paid for parking inside the building for one day...is beautiful also....

Went for dinner @ Soul Out cafe recently. The food is awesome!!

Finally..

Every moment with you is magical. I count it such a blessing to have met you. During the days where my body is screaming for rest, just to be able to touch and see your smiling face, is worth every ounce of strength I have left in my body.

Ja.

Crushed

2008-07-20T00:39:00.002+08:00

I breathe, eat, and live for moments like this...

Is it because I don't attend enough meetings? Is it because I'm always late?

Is it because I'm not good enough?

Please don't crush my one passion I've always had...

Uncertain times

2008-07-17T10:54:00.002+08:00

Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim was released on police bail on Thursday morning. He was arrested on Wednesday, an hour before the 2pm deadline. Federal CID director Commissioner Datuk Mohd Bakri Zinin said Anwar was supposed to go directly to the Kuala Lumpur headquarters immediately after giving his statement to the ACA in Putrajaya.

Even if you don't follow the happenings and current events of our country, I'm sure you felt it 'in your face' on last monday morning when the traffic of the whole of klang valley came to an almost standstill due to road blocks set up by the police. Road blocks were set up in many routes heading into KL for fear of protest at the Parliment.

These are uncertain times.

Share market has dropped so much due to our political situation. Investors are packing up their bags and fleeing for fear that many of our country's big projects might be discontinued or bought down to a smaller scale.

I watched the fuel prices debate between Anwar and Shabery Cheek.

This is only the last part.

We don't know which government will be running few months from now..We don't know what will happen..The rakyat are torn and divided..

Last Sunday I attended DUMC with my family cos they insisted that I should come along. After worship we went into corporate prayer, and the first prayer item was to pray for our country.
And I really felt it's such a heavy need to do it. We so often pray for our brothers and sisters standing beside us, when we also really need to pray for God's intervention for our country. Is this a sign of end times?

Lord come and sweep over Malaysia. Bring peace and just leadership to our country. Appoint the people You want, and let Your will be done here.

Amen.

Passion

2008-07-04T13:27:00.018+08:00

Recently I've been asked this question : " What's your passion in life?"

A dream job is described as " doing something you're really passionate about that pays you well."

I look at passion as something that you love doing, but you don't stop loving doing it. You do it today, you go on tomorrow, you go on for next 6 months, next 20 years, and you're never bored of it.

I guess the only thing that I've never stop doing since I started is music. ;)

Guys naturally love toys, such as girls naturally like shoes, bags and clothes.

Toys can be gadgets, canggih handphones, even the hottest car. So, as a girl can walk into a boutique can stay there for few hours, it works the same way for guys.

I went to my "toy shops" and let my saliva drool for the past few days.

Wisma Bentley. ( Sorry Enoch, I went at 3pm la. :D)

Felt like Swee Lee with the drums displaying all there. It was so HUGEEEE the place. Only Tama's and Pearls.

Mann...there goes one of my dreams to become the sole distributor of cajons to our country...sigh..

Zildjians. No money to even think of buying one of these.

They have a big drum only dedicated to bass guitars. So beautiful. ( Sobs)

Aah. The coveted Warwick Rock Bass. If I were a bassist I'd go for this baby.

Yes. Say hallo to the master himself.

Ibanez guitars section. They compartmentalize guitar brands.

Amps.

Guitar testing area.

Even had a room for jamming/ performing purposes? AWesome.

AAhh. Fender guitars. Strats and Tele's.

Halo halo, this fella looks real familiar. *wink wink* It's mexiccan made tho.

Vintage guitars.

Next day I went to CK .

Btw, I forgot to take pics of effect pedals from Bentley's. I saw some cool pedals which I think previously are hard to find here but mostly accessible from Singapore. Pedals are remember have names like " Hot Cakes, Bad Monkey, English Muff'n, Spiky Durian" ..

-_-

Yeaa...the durian wan is i made it up...

Anyway. The one that I'm eyeing and looking and drooling at...

PDP 805 series. White.

@_@

*wipes blood from nose*

Ja.

21st-22nd June- The busiest weekend

2008-06-26T11:18:00.009+08:00

Last weekend was one of the busiest weekend in my life. Started on friday night itself.

Friday night : Homes

Saturday morning

10am-11.30am : Drum Class

11.30am : Chee Meng arrives with his Avanza. Transport drums from music school unto his car, then transport into house.

12.00pm: Get ready to go Kuantan for a wedding gig.

1.00pm : Leave Subang for Kuantan.

4.00pm: Reach Kuantan. Headed straight for sound check. Venue was at Teluk Cempedak.

5.00pm : First meal of the day. Mc D's.

Beautiful Teluk Cempedak. One of the few beaches that are highly populated but yet still maintained it's beauty and cleanliness. Just breathing the sea air had me excited for my upcoming Redang trip next month.

5.30-7pm : Headed to a rest house for a snooze and freshen up.

7pm-11pm. : Wedding gig. We played around 20 songs. Highlight of the wedding. The bartender said this : " For musicians, alcohol opens up your creativity gates and stops your mind from thinking when playing."

No wonder the legends of the 80's and 90's were so freakin good!

Out of 24 hours a day most of the time they were either drunk or high on drugs. I saw a clip of how Guns 'n' Roses wrote their songs. They were passed out on the floor, with beer bottles, guitar, and scribbled writings of lyrics and chords on a piece of paper. HAHa...

Pictures taken while on stage. Didn't think it would turn out so cool. ;)

11.30pm-2.30am : Back to Subang. Thank God we reached safely.

Sunday Morning

9.00am : On for subang worship team. Rush off for sound check and practice.

12.45pm : Barely just finished church when got a call saying our new band's first gig at USJ 12 school has been moved forward from 2pm to 1.30pm. Awesome.

1.00pm : Rushed back to house. Packed up drums, head off to school

1.00pm-3.00pm: Presenting Under Headlights. Our new band. It was a really fun experience. At first we didn't really have the mood for this gig cos we thought it'll be just kids. Buthen it they responded so well, that we enjoyed it anyway. :)

4.00pm : Went to sell 2nd hand stuff at the Buy, Trade, Sell shop with Joan. Quite fascinating. Anything that you don't want to use anymore in your house you can sell!! Earn some extra bucks. Lamps, radios, cd's, you can just sell la.

7.00 pm : Movie

11.00pm : Pengsan.

All in all, I kinda enjoyed the business and " hecticness" of the whole weekend. hehe. Thought to myself, what a productive weekend it was.

Maybe next time song writing of jamming, we should try "opening up the creativity gates" . HAHAH...

Ja.

The root of eViL

2008-06-23T11:10:00.002+08:00

I know I shouldn't feel so bad about it, but I felt it a lil' bit yesterday when pastor mentioned..." giving drum lessons..." in front of our record-breaking 500 people.

..even right now blogging about this might get me into trouble..

I know that I shouldn't be too bothered and sensitive about what people say about me, or how people view me, but that doesn't mean that I should be quiet about it, not make my stand and let people think and say all they want.

Yea, I can't attend a lot of meetings. Some people even told me " Don't let money control your life." Some would think me materialistic, always chasing after money. Always finding ways to pocket extra cash. Even willing to sell out church time, or even personal taste of music.

I'm not mad or angry about anyone. I'm not pointing a finger at anyone saying " Why you say like that about me?" So don't get me wrong.

I'm just saying, I'm doing the best I can to survive.

Sometimes when business is low, my drum lesson is the only thing that gives me money to buy food and petrol to travel about. It's difficult for people who have a stable income to understand my situation. Extra gigs here and there allows me some breathing space.

I try my best. To save money for the future. To earn extra so that I can provide for my family in the future. I choose to find ways and put in the effort, instead of sitting down, complain and moan when you want something but you can't afford it.

While I still have the physical capability to push myself, I will still try, cos I don't want to come to a place where I look back and wish that I could have done more.

Christian faith. It's controversial when it comes to this doesn't it? Some may think why work extra, just trust in God and He will provide. Well, I believe in that. But I too believe that's a twist in that. I believe you don't sit at home idling and enjoy yourself, and trust that God drops money from heaven. I believe that always give God the priority, work your hardest, and trust in God and He will provide.

I started my drum lesson with 5 students. In 6 months, God has blessed me with 13 students. More than 100% fold. I'm not a professional drummer, not am I another dave weckl.

But, in all things, whatever I know, whatever I have, whatever I can give, I just give my best.

Ja.

Drum Blog!

2008-06-13T11:21:00.002+08:00

I love drums.

:)

3 drummers I found on youtube that really inspire me.

First Guy.

Cobus.

I started to flip my drum sticks during play because I watched this guy did it and it looked ssoooooooo cool.

I lurrrrve his kit, his snare sounds reeeally pop-ish and warm and the same time. Like his style, his fast strokes and his creativity.

Next.

Chaserrr.

Awesome fella. More of a metal drummer. His drumming skills is crazy. Left handed. Fast, accurate and defined. Because of this guy I went crazy over the band Saosin. This clip up here, I've been learning to do this cover for ages and still can't get it right. I enjoy his energy and his head banging too.

Both drummers above did "The Great Escape" by Boys like Girls before. Chaserrr did Misery Business by Paramore. But he went into more hardcore stuff like As I Lay Dying and Underoath.

Check out this last fella I like.

He looks like a computer engineer, some sort like bill gates kinda look. Specs, "kuai zai" hair...but then..you just watch him play...

He's a John Otto fan kao kao!! His set has resemblance of the Limpbizkit's drummer's set...max out the cymbals...and his set must have cost a bomb..kekek.. His playing style not really ganas ganas..but it's ganas enough...hahah...chun drummer..

Ja.

Crossroad

2008-06-09T11:04:00.003+08:00

I'm going to have to make a VERY VERY important decision in my life in the next few days.

I've learnt the hard way of making crucial decisions without consulting anyone else and weighing out all options.

Lord, I need a confirmation from You.

What's the decision?

Let's just say, it has something to do with my lifelong dream..

and it is within touching distance...

but..should I..

take it?

Updates

2008-06-04T10:22:00.014+08:00

Lazy to talk. I'll just let the photos do the talking what's been happening for the past 2 weeks..

We're got a new singer!! Her name's Joni, sister of the drummer of the band Bus Company. Although we're not really 100% confirmed about her status in our band, it's real fun working with her. I liked the way she took up ownership of the band and we had similar taste in songs. We already covered Paramore and Fireflight.

The equipment in the studio we rent has been improved and upgraded after several 'complaints'. haha. I always like chilling out at jamming studios without having to worry that we only have 1, 2 hours to finish up practice. Usually we have the whole night to ourselves, so it's quite fun to sit down, meddle with different tones and music ideas.

Looks like in this photo i caught Joni went like : OMG!! It's superstar Mr Neo!! Haha..

This is Zach. One of Joni's friends we got to help out in our up coming gig this 22nd. It's at a school at USJ 12. It's gonna be exciting and yet scary cos we'll be covered by TV 3 as told by our organisers. How long and how much? Don't ask me. Maybe we'll just get 5 seconds only. HAHa...
5 SECONDS ON NATIONAL TV!! WOHOOOO!!!!!!!

Teens Camp 2008. I went on a last min basis but I know God have something planned for me to come here.

Mention 'Camp' and you'll picture SU campsites, resorts with big fields, e.t.c. Cool thing about this camp was when we came here, we had no idea that we had reached the 'campsite'. Haha. This is the ulterior of the camp. Yep. We had camp at "Puduraya" at Kuala Lipis. haha.

But after going inside and checking out the hall and our bedrooms, it's really quite nice from the inside.

Palace of the Golden Horses. Considered to be one of the most distinguished hotels in our country. I've always heard of this place, but never step foot into it before. And it really is a beautiful hotel.

Was here for a wedding gig. Outdoor at the gardens. I wonder how much you have to pay for a wedding here?

This is the first time I've been to a wedding that has fireworks in it! Yea. Maybe that's why they have it outdoors I reckon..

My little acoustic drums. After playing this baby for so many wedding functions no longer will I sit on it and spread my legs wide open anymore. Figured out the most ' decent' and non obscene way to play it is like this. :p Doesn't it look cool?

Ja.

whatt??

2008-05-22T12:26:00.002+08:00

I was at sunway pyramid when I entered the washroom, at the urinal bowls I was this...

They have urinal bowls to help you wash your *ahem*??

LOL.

oh wait. It's waterless.

How do they..what...??

LOL.

Ja.

Photo Blog!!

2008-05-11T10:08:00.014+08:00

10.38am. Sunday Morning.

Weather: Rainy and cold.

When was the last time you've ever had this experience?

Back home in AS always detaches you from your 'other' world. No meetings to rush, no students to teach, no places to go but just seeing people at your leisurely pace without having to travel for long hours on the road.

It's just like Alor Setar is as big as Subang itself. No highways. No tolls.

As of blogging now, I'm having Sunday morning cartoons running right in front of me, bringing back to my childhood days. Did you know teenage mutant ninja turtles is so cool now? Oh, they have like an anime version of transformers too. hehe. Yea yea. Looks like anime is slowly taking over the world of cartoons. Lots of western cartoons are turning into anime style. Like sweat drops and funny exaggerated expressions when frustrated, or flame burning eyes when angry. HEhe.

anyway. Photoblog!!!

Weeks ago, during our work meeting, we had an ice breaker. we were given a big piece of blank paper, and were told to draw a picture of ourselves. Was in a playful mood that day, so ...here we go..

Yes. I had a body like 'doraemon.' haha.

Acts of kindness. Ever had a person who you just talked to twice in your whole life come up to you, hand you this and said " Here's for you bro. Courtesy of me." ? Meet Alex Lim aka Mr Fantastic. Nicest guy I've met.

Taylor's gig. Army of Three. That's the other band doing sound check. I had an awesome time.

That's me. Any of you guys seen Mr Jason Han's new bike? And this motorcross- full face helmet. FuyoH!! Plus Oakley goggles. Had a syok sendiri session during Homes last week.

Meet Jack and Nick. 8 years and 7 years old respectively. Since taking up teaching drums I believe that I've managed to hon, increase and train my skills in.....

Babysitting.

Here we have me trying to nail some drum fundamentals into brother while the younger brother...well...doing superman.

And when the younger brother is learning...we have the older one doing...well..I have no idea..

Most recent picture. I worked a full day yesterday, from 7.30am till 7pm. We had a conference at a day care centre.

Do you know how hard it is to take this picture? hehe. I love to tweak with drum settings, making sure every angle, every piece of the drumset is precisely where I want it to be. Took me quite a while to adjust this setting to get me ready for Sunday Service. I always thought if I were a guitarist I would have been spent a lot of time tweaking the guitar amps or tweaking my effect pedal. :P Anyway except my 15" Stagg Thin Crash, everything I have is here.

see? see? This is my optimal setting.
Just got myself a massive 18" Myra Stagg Crash recently. I LURVE it, aside from my 17" DH Brilliant Crash on the left.

Lastly.

The most beautiful girl in my life.

Ja.

I, money.

2008-05-06T17:03:00.004+08:00

Many people I know do not have an interest in money.

By saying that, I mean planning out how to use their money they earn from the jobs every month.

A typical scenario will be, money comes in by 24th or 25th, they do their monthly payments, car, bills, petrol, parents, tithe, e.t.c, look at how much leftover. If you're working already 2-3 years, your 'leftovers' should be much better compared to last time. So, they leave it in the same account, and when no money, just pop by the nearest atm machine and cough up the money.

If that month so happen something big comes up, e.t.c something spoils, grand sales, your leftovers will be taken up a huge amount, so the remaining days you're on ration, and as 24th and 25th approaches you look at your atm everyday waiting for your next paycheque to come in.

Sounds familiar?

I can even add. You start to look for a better paying job so that you don't have to face the same problem anymore.

Well let me tell you my friends you're gonna face the same problem. again and again.

Money is such a private and personal thing so much so that no one talks about it openly. Which I feel, it's bad in a way cos if you don't talk about it no one teaches and shares with you how to use your money, and for most of your life you're just running around in circles.

There's a saying " It's not how much you earn, but how much you save" that ensures your financial freedom.

I'd say " It's not how much you earn, but how well you use it" that ensures your financial freedom.

The rich gets richer not because of their fat pay cheques, but because before they had huge salaries they knew how to use their small salaries well first. So when bigger income comes in, it's already a habit and part of their planning to bring them bigger wealth. Thus the parable of the 5 talents comes into place where the guy who knew how to multiply the talents given to him was given more in the end.

I feel sad when I approach people, most of them think that I'm after their money, or I'm just another sales man. It's so so so true. I see many of them telling me they don't have the money to save, and yet they have money to spend. And in KL, it's really really easier to spend than to save.

If your lifestyle is pretty much what I illustrate above I strongly suggest that you take an interest in financial planning. If not for yourself, at least for your family or future family. Marriages and families become torn because parents do not know how to handle money, dragging their children down into crisis together with them. Now, do you think that's fair for your child in the future?

Start reading up. I strongly recommend the magazine" Personal Money". It's only RM 9. Teaches you how to handle your money. Talk to financial planners. Even some insurance agents do know about financial planning.

I encourage you to take up responsibility as an adult. Don't just read this post and forget about it.
Take a look at your financial situation and ask yourself, do you want to improve it?

Ja.

Inspiration

2008-04-29T11:43:00.002+08:00

I got this somewhere. I looked at it. Then I looked at it again.
I wait. Letting it slowly sink into me.
Makes sense. a LOT of sense.

I had to jot it down somewhere, so I grab my phone, pen it down and put it as my wallpaper.

It wrote:

" Decide what you want. Decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work."

Decide what you want.

Sounds so cliche. Fact is, most people don't really know what they want in life. Having more things to choose from makes it even worse. Some people do know what they want in life, but are not willing to pay the price for it. So, they choose not to choose. And you just float through life being bossed around, chasing after meetings, pleasing people, to be even more direct. And there comes a day you look back, and you ask yourself, " what have I done all this while? where am I right now? "

Decide what you are willing to exchange for it.

This is the tricky part. NOTHING is FREE in this world. I repeat. Nothing. You think air is free?
You have to pay to live first. This is a world of EXCHANGE. BARTER. You have to give to get.
Christianity is not "free" as well. You have to give up your old self, your old style of living when you receive Jesus into your life. It's not a really nice and easy thing to do, but definitely it's for the betterment of yourself. ;)

What is it you want? you really really want? And what are you willing to exchange for it?

You know..sometimes I think..to really want something so bad...are we willing to even exchange other people's approval?

Get to work.

Aaah..hear it every now and then? Challenges always start after the heat of the moment. You go to church and you cry and you sing and you give your heart to Jesus but the challenge starts once you step out the church.. Couples face their biggest test after marriage..

Get to work. This is when the "exchanges" really kick into gear. No more talk. Let's see the action.

I hope this inspires you as it really did to me. I'm now listing what I really want in life. And listing down what am I willing to exchange for it. Soon, I will get to work.

Ja.

New phone semangat

2008-04-21T11:49:00.011+08:00

After the previous post felt kinda gay...from a typical ah beng to putting up pictures of pretty boys holding their sticks smiling...

-_-

oh mien that sounded wrong..

*smacks own head*

Okaaaaay..

New phone semangat. My previous phone was dying of an incurable diseases. The symptons are:

1.) cracked front screen. I always tell people it's because I talked too much. muahaha. seemed to be getting longer by the day.
2.) flu. Yes. My phone gets a 'cold' in air conditioned rooms. In this circumstances the screen just goes haywire, you see rainbow colours coming up. So beauuuutiful ...
3.) camera function rosak. This was the first sympton actually.
4.) failure to read sim card. Yea. But it happens once in a while only.

Last sunday it just RIP without me saying goodbye.

So I got myself a..

As usual new phone means lots of tinkering...lots of pictures taken...

Anywayyyy....

I made a trip to MMU last week.

OH yes. It was a memorable trip.

Hey ex-MMU peeps! Have you been back to MMU since you left..??

Do you know they now have....

YEp.

Felt very nostalgic.

And also very shock -gic. When after taking the pictures..I walked back to my car..then..

I've been driving this car for almost 2 years never have pan-chet case, then this bugger suddenly decided wanna bring me back to my uni life pan-chet for me to see.

Good thing got Mr-Nice-Guy-Ji-Jian help me..

Just in case if you're wondering how the heck did all this pictures got taken...no my new phone didn't start growing legs and click by itself..we had this miss here..

who took my phone start clicking away...and also...erm...started to entertain herself while we slogged ..hehe..

Anyway...

This phone also allows me to do this...

and this...

and this...

Actually..why am I promoting this phone ar..? Not like I'm getting a cut from it also...

Cheh.

Anyone free this friday 25/4/08?

GIG GIG GIG!

Taylor's College 8pm

Who's playing?

Army of Three
Bus Company

Oh. I'm subsitute drummer for AOT. =)

Come support us!

Ja.

LENG ZAI DRUMMERS???

2008-04-10T13:41:00.021+08:00

Back in AS.
As always, the pace of life kinda slows down from 110kph to 60kph when you come back O Little Town of Alor Setar.

Without so many distractions and the hustle and bustle of the city life, usually I get to do some pondering on my life, read up and equip myself for my career, SLEEP, spend lots of quality family time ..and ...BLOG.

It's been a while again since I talked about music. So. My next post is a VERY VERY important posting!!

Yes. Yes.

Ok. You know those bands out there? Yea. Of course you know. Duh.

Ok let's be specific. You know those bands out there which has really gaya-macho-lengzai-hesocute-lookathisbiceps front man or lead guitarist?

Yea. The guys who make chicks strike up this sort of conversation:

chick 1: " Hey you know John from switchfoot? He's SOOOO cuteE...~!
chick 2: " Yea. Like, O My Gawwd..I could just cuddle him like a teddy...HE's MINE!"
chick 1: " O my Gawwd..no he isn't...He's MINE..."

Yea. Stuff like that. Gals can say AMEN to that. Guys you're excuse to puke.

Anyway. Being a drummer myself I feel this burdenful, unbearable..100 ton pressure to defend my kind.....

..you know...drummers...

I mean..aren't drummers good looking as well? Can't drummers get some credit as well? Just because we sit behind the drums doesn't mean we bleed and sweat daaayy after daaaay unoticed?

So. I set off to do some research of some leng zai drummers around...

man I feel so gay now..

Here's what I got..

Candidate 1: Chad Smith ( Red Hot Chilli Peppers)

Candidate 2 : Mike Portnoy ( Dream Theatre)

Candidate 3 : Taylor Hawkins ( Foo Fighters)

Candidate 4: Jose Pasillas (Incubus)

Candidate 5 : Travis Barker ( Plus 44)

Leng zai or not? Leng zai or not so far??
.
.
Aih..Who am I kidding...To top it up..I came across

Candidate 6 : Joey Jordison ( Slipknot)

The ultimate leng zai...

Candidate 7 : don't-really-bother-whatsisname ( Grawr)

Sighs.

Seems when there's no more hope for us...suddenly...a ray of light shines through...

YAY!!

Candidate 8: Zac Farro ( Paramore)

Candidate 9 : Pat Torpey (Independent, former Mr Big)

Candidate 10 : David Silveria ( Former Korn, Calvin Klein Model)

Candidate 11 : Dominic Howard ( Muse)

Candidate 12 : Nate Young ( Anberlin)

Candidate 13 : Thomas Lang ( Independent)

Candidate 14: Tre Cool ( GreenDay)

Ah. Feels good to defend our kind. Oh yea. The final candidate...

Candidate 15: whats-is-name ( Oneted)

HAHA.

Ja.

First Date

2008-04-07T21:57:00.002+08:00

In the car, I just can't wait...
To pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm just scared of what you think.
You make me nervous so I really can't eat..

First Date by Blink 182

26 years of waiting was worth every minute..
I can't believe everything just fell into place..
Those of you still waiting..I encourage continue pray and wait cos it's worth IT!

For me. Ma first date was..

WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SCHWWWEEEETT!!!!!!

*Hi-5's everyone in the room*

Ja.

*bounce* *bounce* *bounce*

My first..

2008-03-28T08:24:00.003+08:00

It's always exciting when it's the first time..

There's the rush of emotions..
Not knowing what to expect..and yet trying to expect everything..
Stepping into the unknown...afraid and yet not wanting to look back..
Excited and yet nervous...

I admit..I'm still trying my best to handle it like a pro...
Though inside sometimes I'm shivering not knowing whether I'm doing it well or not..

It will be my first time soon..
You will be my first..

I pray it will be as beautiful as I've always imagined it in my mind..

:)
Ja.

Sighss..

2008-03-17T14:37:00.007+08:00

It's been almost a year now..

The sweetest memory of my 2007..

I wondered why they never called me back..

oh rite. I was just a replacement drummer then.

Meet Liang. He's from Klang. But I tell you, you wanna talk about chinese dude who thinks he's black? This guy's the ultimate guy.

He managed to make me like R'n'B.
YEs. He's THAT good.

He launched his 2nd album last year. I lurve his music. Check out his website.

I must say it's one of the best websites I've seen. Place your mouse on the buildings. Got links there wan.

Anyway I've never seen a singer defied the laws of 'singing diet' before. 3 nights concert in Singapore. Consecutively 2 nights after the concert he was downing 2 bowls of durian cendols each night. And we slept in the same hostel. Awesome.

Gig-ing with the best musicians of our country.
Superb music and quality presentation.
Awesome friends and unforgettable moments together.

Sighhhhh..

Lord JEsussss...can I have one more chance pleeeeease?

Ja.

Ops Diet

2008-03-11T00:10:00.005+08:00

I have been gaining weight. Sighs. Lack of exercise, too many mamak sessions, non regular eating hours and too much oily and fattening foods. One 'yam char' too many, and too many 'makan besars' in one go. I remember 2 weeks ago I had 3 dinner functions in one week. Imagine eating shark fin's soup 3 times a week.

Poor sharks..

Anyways, it's time to get serious and lose weight. The problem of having lost weight before was I did not know how I did it. I remember during my last semester in uni I started losing weight after I fell sick. And I shed a whole 10kg in a few months.

Magically, I can't recall how I did it.

Oh, I remember I played lots of sports. But funnily. I don't remember going on any diet.

No matter. I've put on a few kg's for the last couple of months. My pants are getting too tight. Hehe.

IT IS TIME...

to look like...

Whoa. that prolly scared ya aye?

I'll put this up just for my own inspiration instead..

I don't really know how. But I guess one of the best ways is to watch what goes into your mouth?
I read that the stomache is like a muscle. It expands when you put in more, and extracts if you put it less. So are your fats.

SO.

Time to put in less. Watch my food. And burn more calories!!
I've given myself a time frame to achieve this goal. By 1st of April, I hope to have been able to shed a few kilos, get myself back into shape and be in my best for that someone. :)

Anyone got anymore suggestions?

Ja.

Christianity vs Insurance (part 2)

2008-03-06T10:28:00.004+08:00

Finally the part 2 of Christianity Vs Insurance series.

In the first part, we discussed and shot some questions such as " Should a Christian get a life insurance? " and " Does getting a life insurance mean not placing our faith in God but in men during the hard times?

I did some some research on the net and found 2 websites that actually do talk about the similiar thing. Check out

http://thelunchtimesermon.blogspot.com/2007/07/insurance-vs-christianity.html

http://www.gotquestions.org/Christian-insurance.html

First of all, insurance is not mentioned in the Bible at all. It's not stated in one of the 10 commandments : THOU SHALT BUYETH THEE A LIFETH INSURANCETH.

So, we have to draw from the principles and teaching from the word of God.

There's a saying:
" There's no certainty in life, other than the certainty of death."

I'd say :
" There's no certainty in life, other than the certainty of God."

We wake up every morning to a brand new day because the Earth rotates, and orbits around the Sun. Nothing moves by itself, other than being moved by the Creator itself. Not one day has passed without the earth orbiting the Sun. 100% track record. Death? 2 people cheated death before in the history of mankind. I'll give you a sweet if you can name them. :P

So, does this mean that we place our faith and trust in the almighty God?

YES.

Does this mean we abandon all efforts to take care of ourselves and others because He will take care of us?

NO.

Just as you don't want your kid to grow up not working, having to depend on you all the time not knowing how to take care of himself, it works the same way.

Getting life insurance means taking responsibility for yourself and love ones. and THAT's written in the bible. 1 Tim 5:8 " If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

Of course, there are so many ways to "provide for his family and relatives". Insurance is only one of the ways to do it. It is merely a tool. But a good tool indeed, I'd say. heh.

Anyway to sum it all up, we should never doubt the ability of God will come around us and provide of us during our most desperate times. He is almighty, and all-powerful.

But we, should never take everything for granted, and strive to best of who we are and what we can do. We are, after all, " in the world, but not of the world."

Ja.

'Onde' lah...

2008-03-03T15:12:00.003+08:00

Onde onde...

Even if you don't really know head or tail what's going on in our country, I bet you can't miss all the banners at every nook and corner of the street.

You have rockets. You have moons. Heck, you even have full moons and half moons. You have weighing machines. You have people using banners of weighing machines making airplanes.

Ah..such a beautiful time for the country..

I'll be making a 400km trip back to my hometown to exercise my rightful duties as a citizen of Malaysia.

Then another 400km back to continue my life here.

Those of you who haven't registered, it's too late to vote. Go register now so that in 4 years time you won't " oh-I-forgot-to-register" again.

Those of you who think it's not important to vote, think of it this way. Given a choice, would you choose a mom who forces you to work like a slave, controls your every move, gives you little money, or a mom that gives you the freedom of your actions, and yet respect you as an individual?

It's a fact. You CAN choose.

Those of you too lazy to travel back to hometown to vote, read the above again.

Those of you who don't know who to vote for..thanks for kennysia.com, we have the election-decision-generator!! Wohoo!

I took the test and guess what??

According to the 100% accurate kennysia.com Who-To-Vote-This-Election Decision Generator™, I am voting for...

DEMOCRATIC ACTION PARTY!

Who Should You Vote For This Election?

ROCKET!!

You can try it by clicking on the link above.

ONDE-LAH!!

Internet Marketing

2008-02-26T23:05:00.003+08:00

I'm currently doing as much research and study about this topic during my free time. So..
here goes..

Anyone wants a free course on blogging?

This guy called Mark Joyner will give a free course on blogging if you put up his ad on your blog. Here's my part. Let's see if it comes true.

Here's his ad:

I'm evaluating a multi-media course on blogging from the folks at Simpleology. For a while, they're letting you snag it for free if you post about it on your blog.

It covers:

The best blogging techniques.
How to get traffic to your blog.
How to turn your blog into money.

I'll let you know what I think once I've had a chance to check it out. Meanwhile, go grab yours while it's still free.

Welcome to Da Freak ShoW!!

2008-02-20T22:36:00.002+08:00

La Da Di Dum.....

I was minding my own business when suddenly..

*ring ring*

Oh Agnel.

ANSWER THE FON!!

yeA. judging from the previous tramautizing experience from last time, you'd need to be really dumb to fall into the same hole twice.

Talk talk talk...

Gues what??

.
.
.

I got invited to play along with *someone* for a gig+workshop in KL this Saturday..

guess who??

WELCOME TO DA FREAK SHOW!!

It's JD from Pop Shuvit!!

Oh yea.

List of Local Celebrities to play with:
1.)~~Juwita Suwito~~
2.)~~JD (Pop Shuvit)~~

La Di Dumm.....

We'll be back after this messages..

2008-02-19T12:00:00.002+08:00

We'll continue from the part 1 of the previous post..

but for now..

I've always liked magic. Used to run some amateur magic tricks for kids long time ago..

Few years ago David Blaine stunned the whole world with street magic.

Stunned me. Turning coffee into money in front of everyone ain't something normal.

Till I stumbled upon this dude.

Criss Angels.

He makes David Blaine look like child's play.

I'm warning you. This clip you're about to see is not for the weak hearted.

Ja.

Christianity vs Insurance (part 1)

2008-02-09T18:08:00.000+08:00

Christianity vs Insurance.

My religion, no, rather my whole belief system vs my rice bowl. I've been pondering on this topic for a certain time now. As an insurance agent myself, I have to be clear in my mind the correlation between the two above, so during this CNY hols, I set out to settle this matter once and for all.

The basis of all insurance is just based on one question : " What if something happens to you?"
There are a few certainties and uncertainties in life. One thing for certain is, we can never predict or forsee the uncertainties in the future.

" Life is like a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you're gonna get."

Hmm. I still don't get the " box of chocolates" part tho.

You see kids playing in the streets everyday, and one fine day one gets kidnapped. You see people traveling in buses everyday, and one fine day one double decker bus rams into a divider, and a bright student's future just vanishes. You see our government ministers working hard everyday, and one fine day one gets caught with his pants down..

So, since no one can guarantee that nothing bad will ever happen to them, insurance comes in to make sure that, if they were ever to be HIT with misfortune, the impact of it will be soften, and things will be able to return back to normal as soon as possible.

Pretty clear aye?

The question that's being bugging me for sometime now is this:" Is getting an insurance mean that I don't have faith in my Godd? " Does this mean that I don't trust my God enough to take care of me during my bad times that I have to ensure myself beforehand? I've talked to some clients before, and when I post the question " Dear sir, what'cha gonna do then?" He replies "I'll just have to trust God when that time comes." And you know what, I can't really answer to that because I love my God just as much as he does.

Thing is, I have to set it right before I can go on in this industry anymore. I need to make a stand in my belief, and be truly convicted in my heart whatever the outcome will be.

So.

Armed with lots determination and lots of cny cookies

I set out to seek out the answer...

to be continued..

Switchfoot

2008-02-05T14:43:00.000+08:00

Everyone's been blogging about how awesome Switchfoot was. How they are now "Switchfoot" converts. How they really enjoyed themselves. How good was the sound, the band, e.t.c

For me, it was a good concert too.

BUT.

Lemme tell you what I'll always remember of this concert.

It was Sunday. The day after Switchfoot concert.Evening service just ended. I was chilling out getting ready to get home.

Agnel : Hey dude, that day why ar you never answer my phone?

Me : Huh? When?

Agnel : That day...Thursday night...quite late...

Me : Oh..I was on the phone la..Then I saw your call buthen I made a mental note to call you back but I forgot la. Why la?

Agnel : Oh. We needed a backstage tech to help us set up our stuff la. Kysern asked me to call you see whether you can be our backstage tech or not but you didn't answer the phone and you didn't call back. And we had to give an answer on the spot so we gave it to Jacob Paul la . ( Our church bassist)

Me : WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTT???????????

Agnel : HAHAHAHAHAHHA!! Really laa...

Me : YOU MEAN IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME??

Agnel : Ya laa! But you didn't call back..

Me : I FORGOT Laaa.!!! Why you didn't call me up again????

Agnel : We needed an answer quick ma...

(Stupid dofus) Me : ............................

To cut the depressing story short, I had the chance to be talking and taking pictures with switchfoot, going around backstage, seeing them soundcheck.

Breathe.. Breathe.. It's ok.. I did it for Sonic Flood. Should give other people a chance right? Yes. Yes. That's the way. brotherly love.

Imagine the irony it will be if I got it. I whined about not wanting to go cos I wasn't a fan. And then I get backstage passes. HAHA!.

Yea.

But didn't get..

So..

Felt like..

Kong Hei Fatt Choy, everyone.

Ja.

Darker Days

2008-01-29T23:33:00.000+08:00

Some people feel that when I call them up to make an appointment with them, I become just 'one of those' insurance agent, out there to sell them something. Just another sales man like those dvd sellers or people walking around asking for donation.

So I subconsciously become ' at their feet'. They agree to the appointments, and when things doesn't turn out according to their schedule they call me up and cancel it the last minute.

Let me explain how people in my career do things. In order secure 1 appointment, it takes us around 4-5 rejections. To secure 3 per day, we take in around 10-15 rejections daily. After that, we jot it down our diary, arrange the appointments so in the way that we're not too far from each appointment to save petrol and toll.

So. When we get a call canceling an appointment, we find ourselves..stuck. Stuck in between appointments without anything to do and no place to go. Our time is wasted. Our chance is gone. Again, we are not paid a salary. If we don't get the volume of interviews, we don't get the chance to secure deals. We don't get money to live.

But we have no right to protest. Because, the client is always right. So, we need to smile and sound cheerful while saying" It's ok, Mr/Ms So and So, we'll do it another time la."

Sighs.

A veteran GSM insurance agent told me, " Insurance agent is a noble profession. People won't appreciate you till they look for you for a death or sickness claim. You're not an insurance agent until you experienced a death claim."

I've no doubts about this career.

But these are the darker days.

My bank account is getting thinner and I haven't gotten my breakthrough.
Bills are coming in..
People are friends with me till I talk about what I do and they start to avoid me like a plague.
I'm....alone...most of the time.
I get cranky easily on the road nowadays..
I nearly beat up a security guard for clamping my car..
I'm fighting myself every minute of the day...
Trying to go against myself. Trying to change into someone better..

The thing is..I have to smile and be cheerful when I'm doing my job.
when hell is happening inside.

These are the darker days..

Lord, walk with me..

Someone. Anyone.

Ja.

That's what you get

2008-01-22T07:42:00.000+08:00

I wonder how am I supposed to feel when you're not here
'Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here
I still try holding on to silly things
I never learned why when all the possibilities I'm sure you heard

That's what you get when you let your heart win
Whoa
That's what you get when you let your heart win
Whoa
I drowned out all my senses with the sound of it's beating
That's what you get when you let your heart win

by Paramore

Sometimes...I wonder..did God set a standard so high that humans can't reach..?

Separation

2008-01-15T16:25:00.000+08:00

To my dear dear friend, here's to:

..:: the football watching sessions...mamak time cheering our team...and explaining to you the chemistry of football. ::..

.:: the music sessions...where we talk about bands...genres...the recommendations of bands..screamos...and your Anberlins:. :)

.:: the shopping sessions..where you found out there's discount at Jusco..and helped chose a white shirt:.

..:: the cinema sessions...where you made watching Chuck and Larry become not so gay-ish ::..

..:: the water rafting sessions..the caving sessions...::..

..:: the fireworks watching sessions... the life party sessions ::..

..:: the starbucks sessions..where you taught me the wonders of ice blended green tea latte::..

..:: the band 'groupie' sessions..hehe...coming with us to St Andrews church and taking pictures..and coming over to help me in my 'england' to write songs ::..

..:: but above it all..
..by being a friend in my time of need...
..for the words of encouragement...
..for being a teacher in areas I'm not familiar with ( you know what I mean :P ) ...
..for the jokes and laughter...

I just wanna say..

thank you.

I wish you all the best for your future..
your walk with God..
your career...
your ministry..
your relationships..
your family..

Till we meet again..

Godspeed, my dear friend.
I'm sorry I can't be there to see you off.

Tho I joke that I forget people fast..

..I will miss you..

Take care, good friend.

Ja.

Band band bands...

2008-01-10T10:06:00.000+08:00

Alrite alrite alrite..let's go ....

Recently Malaysia has been opening up its shores for more and more big names to come in...Since I started working, had the priviledge of going for Good Charlotte and My Chemical Romance. Muse came and went. Any other names? I never had any regrets attending for both of that. Muse came, I ranted that I didn't wanna go, if MCR came I would have drop me pants and scooted off to their show straightaway. Heck, MCR became so big time, from the days of indie band when I was crazy over them to big timers. Going to their show felt kinda...weird...buthen again..I still like them..:)

Tommy Emmanuel was supposed to be my first show for 2008 buthen poor fella fell sick. So..guess where I'm going then?

Got sucked into this. :P

I'm not their biggest fans. Definitely won't pay RM 120 for their shows. Sommore it's not even a standing concert. At KLCC Hall 4. Like cinema theatre. People have Grease shows there!!

Buthen..buthen hor...everyone going....

My band mates...so many church ppl....

Aih..GO la go laa!!

Anyway to make myself feel better...I've compiled a few bands..which if they ever touch Malaysia-tanah-tumpahnya-darahku...

I'm going to sell my ass to watch their shows...

Well..not literally..

1.)PARAMORE

No need say anymore. If I can't get tix, I'll sneak in somewhere...rob a bank to buy their tix..

2.) INCUBUS

THEY ARE COMINGGGGGGG!!!! YAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)

3.) RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS
Girls..stop staringg...
Guys...you too..

4.) FOO FIGHTERS

Once I heard that a rumor they disbanded...I got so upset I couldn't sleep..I couldn't eat....

Nah..just exaggerating..

5.) STORY OF THE YEAR

This band will probably get the least chance to come here...Their nasty screamo stuff won't get thru the censorship I guess..buthen again if Pussycat Dolls can go thru...prolly they can too..

and..and..and..I wanna go their concert cos it's so crazy gila wan....

Bands which I won't even think of going:

a,) Sigorous... how can you go listen to a band which sings gibberish and nonsense? Serious..their lyrics are not even a language...they make up words....speaking in tongues? :P

b.) explosions in the sky... erm..erm..better not say anything less I start to make fun of some ppl's favourite band...:P

Looks like this for now...

Ja.

90 days

2008-01-07T00:33:00.000+08:00

90 days is what it takes.

Hey you..

I wonder how are you doing there?

It's only been a day.. but it feels like eternity..

I'm not doing well here..:(
I can't sleep..
I've tried getting myself occupied just to not let myself miss you so much...
But there's a deep aching within which can't be cured..

Every sms and call I get I was hoping against hope that it was you..
I know it's for the best..
And we have to go through it..

But the agony of lost..
Do we have to become strangers to become friends?
Do we have to be apart to be together?

God help me..

Hey you..
I wonder how are you doing there?

If you're doing fine, I cheer you on..
If not, then I cheer you on harder..louder..

You

2007-12-28T09:40:00.000+08:00

When you're near..
..sometimes I'm still left speechless though I still have so much to say..
..everything else seems to grow dimmer..

When you smile..
.. I wanna smile with you..
.. it is..beautiful..

When you speak..
.. I never wanna stop listening..
.. it is..sweet..

And everything made perfect in His time.

Ja.

If you know me..

2007-12-13T18:36:00.000+08:00

If you know me...well enough...
you'll know that I'm not kidding about this..
I don't plan to 'play around' ..
This is not some 'side' thing for me..
The circumstances and industry in our country might not be really encouraging..
But I really meant it when I say..

My one true wish and joy..
Is not to earn millions of dollars
live in a mansion with sports cars.
or even to have a family at this moment..

But be able to do this..

some would think why I watch this everyday or every now and then..

that's cos I always imagine myself there..

I visualize..

I wish...

Ja.

2 posts in a day?

2007-12-10T22:20:00.000+08:00

I know .. But I just HAVE to blog about this..

Recently I was at MCR concert. Remember I posted something about Muse a lil' while ago. I mentioned that if ever MCR would to come to Malaysia, I would want to attend their concerts.

Anyway, to keep it simple, they were AWESOME. Not awesome like a fan-type of awesome. But in every aspect. They're tight. Really good tone. And they rock hard.

After that night, I have a new found respect for Ray Toro, their lead guitarist.

I always knew he was really good. But after listening to him shredding live, with a 5-7 min solo performance, he's in my " favorite-guitar-player" list now. He's playing is really old school. with an emo band. yup. cool combo. yes daniel lee, go check him out.

Anyway, after the concert it got me really thinking, what makes a rock band so good? what are the essence and key elements that makes a rock band a rock band?

And I realized that the two most important aspects of a rock band are:
lead singer and lead guitarist.

These two roles makes the rock band rock. They are of utmost importance of the style, flair and the tone that the whole band carry. If you're thinking of other types of genre then it's a different matter altogether.

I'm talking about guitarist who can shred the guitar to bits, can make your hair stand and jaw loose whenever they play the guitar. I'm talking about lead singers who are the symbol of the band.

Examples:

the most recent MCR.
Ray Toro and Gerard Way.

Gerard's singing is totally unique. And he can scream too.

I'm talking about the hardcore hard rockers who have been around for sometime and have earned almost "god-like" status and respect in the music industry.

Aerosmith.

Joe Perry and Steve Tyler

Joe Perry

Bon Jovi

Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora

Guns 'N' Roses
Axel Rose and Slash

Slash

the biggest band in the world:

U2
the edge and bono

Mr Big

Eric Martin and Paul Gilbert

and now one of my favourite band

Paramore

Josh Farro and Hayley

Can't seem to think of any rock bands that rely heavily on their star drummers. But they do have some legendary drummers. Bon Jovi's Ticco Torres, Guns 'N' Roses Matt Sorum...Mr Big's Pat Torpey..

I hope my band can one day have a star lead singer and star lead guitarist. heh..

I have a jumping bassist tho...

Ja.

Christmas

2007-12-10T20:52:00.000+08:00

It's that time of the year again..

For many of us, it's the time where much work needs to be done. Especially with our church's Christmas production. Most if not all of us are rushing about, memorizing lines, building props, attending music practices, dance practices, you know the drill. Maybe for the mothers, or whoever else who are planning to throw a party at their houses, preparation needs to be made to prepare the for feast. Turkeys (salivate), chicken, potatoes...you name it. Maybe some would even purchase some red wine to go with it. Oh man, I'm getting hungry just thinking about it.

Before we know it, christmas would be over, dramas would be put up, showcased and celebrated. Then after that, we need a break after the all the hype.
We pat ourselves on the back for doing a job well done.
Let's look forward to another great Christmas next year.

Is that what you want to remember about Christmas?

Christmas always means something special to me.
Or maybe, it used to.

Since I was a kid, I always get this tingly feeling whenever Christmas is round the corner.
I waited so anxiously for 2 weeks before Christmas , cos that's when we were allowed to set up the Christmas tree. We got together, brought down the Christmas tree box which is always covered up with dust. And we set it up, together with the ornaments and christmas lights.

Once we lit it up. it really felt like Christmas!

The presents. oh the presents! Boxes with colorful wrappings lay so temptingly under the tree.
We always shook it and tried guessing what was inside. My best present was when I was 12. I remember yanking off the wrappers to find a huge black helicopter inside. It couldn't fly of course. But I held it so preciously. If I could cry then, I would.

Christmas Caroling. I became a carol novice to an expert throughout my teenage years. I can even remember the lines till today. The tenor, bass parts. The excitement of going houses to houses and bringing smile to their faces. Of course the spread on the table brought smiles to our faces as well. :P

My best christmas memory was one of those Christmases when I was still young. And it was a Christmas morning. I jumped from my bed to find mom and dad having breakfast. I couldn't eat a thing. Dragged them and all my siblings to the Christmas tree and started opening presents.
Together as a family.

Throughout the years all these started to fade away..

I'm not saying that all these church events are bad. No. They're all good. But, once in a while, it could be good to just stop everything, and bring ourselves back to the time when we first celebrated Christmas.

"Christmas, isn't Christmas till it happens to your heart"

I look back last year's Christmas. I realized how so many things have changed just in a year.

How everything's gone better. .
How God's been watching and taking care of me...
How I've known and gain so much...
How some of my dreams came true..:)

2 more weeks before it gets crazy. Before I get all gila and hectic.
I just wanna wish everyone...

Have yourself a ..

Ja.

The Gift

2007-12-03T23:52:00.000+08:00

Theres a strangest excitement today
If youre awake then youre welcome to hear
Ive got a gift and it blew me a way
From the far eastern sea straight to here
Oh God I feel like Im in for it now
Its like the rush has gone straight to my brain
But my voice is as lonely as loud
As I whisper a joy of this thing

And suddenly
Youve done it all
You won me over
In no time at all

And now Ill stop the storm if it rains
Ill light a path far from here
Ill make your fear melt away
And the world we know disappear

If you ask I will do what you say
All we have is this night to get through
With the cheeks to the smile youre only
You left me all up in arms and confused
Oh God I feel like Im in for it now
And how this kiss will be one roughly vague
I swear Ill melt if you touch me at all
But then Ill ask you to do it again, and again

The Gift
Angels and Airwaves

The Truth about Investment Linked

2007-11-29T11:03:00.000+08:00

I love my work.

I know some friends who work till 12 midnight. And some who come back 3am in the morning, not because they were doing the macarena swinging their hips to the music at Zouk, but they were slogging away finishing projects that just needed to be done no-matter-what.

So far, I've been up till 1 plus in the morning before 'working'. And when it comes to my work, it usually means 'talking'. That's right. My mouth is my rice bowl. Rice goes in it, at the same time it's used to put rice on the bowl.

I don't like to use the word " convince" clients. I'm not trying to con or brain wash anyone. I'm just there to educate. Just as a teacher uses his or her mouth to teach, I'm use my mouth to help people plan out their financial profile.

So far, it's been a blast.

Anyway, today I'm here to educate about the truth about investment-linked insurance policies.

If you are an investment linked policy holder, please listen carefully.

If you think you have insurance your mommy or daddy bought for you, please go find out whether you have it or not, and listen as well.

If you're none of the above, don't skip this. Read on because it's really unwise to reach the age of 30, have a family next time and still know nuts about insurance. :P

The basic reason why you get life insurance is simple.

You fall sick one day. Fever and flu. You go see the doctor. The doctor charges how much usually? RM 50? RM 70?

Does that cripple your finances? Usually not. You still have enough money to eat and live till your next pay cheque come.

You fall sick one day. two days. three days. You go see the doctor, doctor sends you hospital. You have internal bleeding. Something might be cancerous.

Let's not get into the details. It ain't a pretty thing to talk about, aye?

Doctor charges you RM 20,000 end of the day. Does that cripple your finances?

Usually, yes. You've saved your sweat and blood for the past 3 years to almost RM 10k. You give it all up, and you still owe RM 10k.

Pain or not?

Pain laaaa. hehe.

This is where insurance comes in. It pays off your RM 20k so that your savings is still untouched.
None of your hard earned money has been blown off in one night.

Investment linked policies.

It ties your insurance policy together with investments through unit trusts. Truth is, if your policy is attached with a LOT of protection, e,g, PA, 36 critical illness, medical card... and you pay a minimal amount of around RM 150 to RM 200 per month, many agents go about telling their clients that you will have a certain amount of money saved when you're reaching 30-40 plus of age.

*EHKK!*

wrong answer.

As you age, your insurance coverages increases. Meaning the RM 150 you put it every month might not be enough to cover for you when you age. The interest and dividen you get from the investment links will be used to cover for your charges till a certain number of years before you'll start to receive a letter asking you to add on more money on top of your RM 150.

so:

1st myth: I pay a number of years then I don't need to pay already.
WRONG. This type of insurance you pay till 87 years old.

2nd myth: I'll have money later on in life.
WRONG. Unless, you have minimal protection. Throw off Personal Accident, medical card, 36 critical illness. Only basic sum assured . Then yes. probably.

Investment linked is good when we have low income, but we want high protection during the early days of our working career.

There you go.

Another day I will talk about unit trust. And how you can truly maximize every cent of your hard earned money to save and accumulate wealth to build yourself a financially comfortable future.

Hmm, I hope that these recent posts about money doesn't put any of you off.

Next post will be about music. :D

Ja.

2007-11-26T14:30:00.000+08:00

Let's take a lil' breather off financial stuff ..

*We'll be back right after these messages..*

Stumbled upon this video...

I laughed the entire 2 mins...these lil' kids are so darn FARNEE...and cute...

And you'll be surprised, they ARE actually playing the real song...

Check it out..

trust me, you don't wanna miss this...

Oh, I need to get me one of theSe..

Maybe one day church will be able to sponsor..

one day...

* fingers crossed*

hehehe

Ja.

Things which you need to think about..

2007-11-22T10:57:00.000+08:00

1.) Marriage.

Unless you plan to be a bachelor for life, ( which is not a bad thing and might be your calling in life), we need to start thinking and planning for it.

An average wedding in KL = RM 50,000.( approximately)
An average wedding in Alor Setar = RM 30,000 (approximately)

I compared both rates with the highest standard of living compared to one of the lowest in our country. You do the math if you plan to get married somewhere in between.

You can always opt for a cheaper, smaller function. Or you could start saving and planning now to give ( for guys) something special to your wives which they've already started dreaming since they were 9 years old.

2.) House

Nows'aday, a normal terrace unit in KL costs approx RM 250,000.00 to RM 400,000.00

A condo unit costs approx RM 150,000.00 to RM RM 250,000.00

Even if you get a house loan, you have to pay down payment of 10% for the house. There's even 0% down payment also. But you pay till the cows come home.

Down payment for house = RM 25,000.00 ( approx)

3.) Car.

( I lurve this baby)

Down payment for car costs RM 10,000 to RM 20,000. Up to the buyer's capacity.

The higher the down payment, and the higher your installments, the less years you have to pay them.

We put the down payment as RM 10,000.00 (approx)

What I'm trying to show here, is while we are going on with our daily lives everyday, soon we will face with these big commitments in the future. It is foolish to ignore all these, and 'hope for the best' when the time comes. I'm not ruling out the element of faith, as I'm a devout Christian myself. If God decides to bless you and support you financially when the time comes, then glory to God. But that doesn't mean we bamboozle all our money now, live for today and spend lavishly. God also told us to be good stewards of money.

Look at the figures above again. Do you have the money right now?
If Yes, then good. Cos it's not what you accumulated. It's mom and dad's sweat and blood put into proper savings and investments that's given to you. Go back and thank them now.

If no, don't worry.

Let me show you something.

I always tell my clients that though we don't have the money, we have another more important element on our side.

Time.

Putting your money aside every month, with a good return will yield this.

Behold the magic of compound interest.

1.)
Initial principal = RM 0.00
Money saved per month = RM 300
Money saved per year = RM 3,600

With a return of 8% per annum,

Money accumulated after 5 years = RM 22,809.34

Down payment for car settled.

2.) Let's say you already have some savings in the bank, say RM 5k. And you can only afford to save RM 150 a month.

Initial principal = RM 5,000
Money saved per month = RM 150
Money saved per year = RM 1,800

With a return of 8% per annum,

Money accumulated after 5 years = RM 18,751.31

30% of your marriage settled.

3.) Ok, let's say you're reeeally tight.

Initial principal = RM 0
Money saved per month = RM 50
Money saved per year = RM 600

With a return of 8% per annum,

Money accumulated after 5 years = RM 3,801.56

if put it as 15 years,

Total accumulated = RM 17, 594.57

Think I've said enough. It doesn't really matter how much you earn. It's how much you save. A millionaire and can RM 1 mil a month and save only RM 300 a month. A teacher can earn RM 2.5k a month and save RM 1k a month. Who you think will be more financially stable?

Start thinking for yourself. Start thinking for your future family.

Remember. The key is to start early.

Ja.

Silent Needs

2007-11-12T11:21:00.000+08:00

I don't really know how to start this posting...but I'll write it as bluntly and directly as I can..

I'm addressing this mostly to young working adults.

Money. Most of us don't really talk about money cos it's something personal. Something private. We usually don't like to share to others how much we're earning. Probably cos it might come down to comparison, and we might start to envy other friends for being well off, for having better jobs at better companies. And we might start to feel inferior. Or depress. Whatever it may be.

Sometimes it's due to pride as well. Don't talk to me about money. I can handle it on my own.
Sad fact is, sometimes the very same people who are saying those very words are the ones struggling financially.

Sometimes when we do talk about money, we might get the impression that we're just money faced..or "all we want is money, money money" ..so we just tend to shut up for fear of being branded as " one-of-those-money-freaks."

It's OK.

I'll just let it out here and make a statement.

Most of us young working adults are suffering and struggling financially.

Silently.

My job gives me the chance to talk to so many friends our age and I really appreciate them opening up to me. Most of us have just enough to get by. That means having just enough to survive every month after paying for everything, with maybe the occasional movie outings and expensive meals. Don't talk about savings.

Some do actually have some money to spare and save every month. But then comes along a mega sale, an outing or something just goes wrong in your home or an accident that just comes along and wrecks your savings to shreds in a few seconds.

Some actually are struggling. Meaning maggie mee few meals a week. Having to say 'no' numerous times to friends when it comes to movie, or expensive meals. Being in debt.

Sounds familiar?

I've been there. Am still in there too.

And frankly, my heart goes out to this guys. I wish I could help somehow. I wish that somehow everyone I meet will be able to find financial freedom. That they won't have to worry and get frustrated.

Then I thought to myself. Actually, I could help them. I could help you.

Think about it. Most of our parents probably started off the same way. They might even start off worse than us. Lower salaries than us. But how did they manage to send us to college? How did they manage to own a car, a house now? How did they manage to feed you, clothe you and give you a comfortable life?

Simple. They lead prudent lives. And used the element of time.

That's the key, my friends.

If you wanna be financial free in the future, you have to use the only element we have that's cost free. Time.

Start saving your money now. The amount doesn't matter. It could be as low as RM 50 a month. Or even RM 1k a month. Commit yourself to a disciplined way of storing your money somewhere. If you can't have that control, then admit it, and use a program that will unable you to touch your money till it matures. Why?

Saving means creating your 'pots of gold'. The more pots of gold you have, the better will it be for you use that for future commitments. eg. marriage, car, house, family, e.t.c. You don't wanna end up having to apply for loans when these commitment comes, and spend the rest of your life trying to get out of debt.

We are still young. Time will compound money and use your existing money, to make more money for you. Thats why I mentioned that the amount does not matter. But of course, the more you save, the more money you can make.

I'm not here to advertise for my business. I just wanna help people become better and more comfortable financially. Because I experience all this myself, I understand the most how it feels.
I have the programs and vehicles to help anyone do this.

So, I dont know who will be reading this. But if you wanna know how you can start savings and investment for yourself, just leave a comment, or let me know. I will try my very best to help.

Ja.

I'll spend my always with you..

2007-11-09T22:14:00.000+08:00

Something which might help you if you're going thru some tough patch now...

Felt it most when I saw one of the singers tearing when singing this song..

Verse 1
You know I've had some lonely days
I've made mistakes and had to pay
I've had some friends that walked away
Just like mama told me
But there's someone who's love is real
Who cares about the way I feel
(I know you feel)
Every pain that erase every stain
There's peace when I call out Your name

Chorus 1
Jesus You're my everything
The cross You did that just for me
So whatever You take me through
I promise You
I'll spend my always with You

Verse 2
No one can touch my heart like You
Or make me smile the way You do
I've finally found someone who
Who really truly loves me
And when my strength has come and gone
Your life in me it makes me strong
Your hand is where my heart belongs
You took all my pain
And erased every stain

Chorus 1
Jesus You're my everything
The cross You did that just for me
So whatever You take me through
I promise You
I'll spend my always with You

Chorus 2
Jesus my whole life has changed
Since that day I cried You're name
For everytime You brought me through
I promise You
I'll spend my always with You

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh

Chorus 1
Jesus You're my everything
The cross You did that just for me
So whatever You take me through
I promise You
I'll spend my always with You

Chorus 2
Jesus my whole life has changed
Since that day I cried Your name
For everytime You brought me through
I promise You
I'll spend my always,
Spend my always with You

Chorus 1
Jesus You're my everything
The cross You did that just for me
So whatever You take me through
I promise You
I'll spend my always,
Spend my always with You

Chorus
Jesus my whole life has changed
Since that day I cried Your name
For everytime You brought me through
I promise You
I'll spend my always with You

Spend my always with You
Spend my always with You

Randomness

2007-11-01T02:07:00.000+08:00

2.09am.

Wind's started to get stronger.

Probably another rain shower tonight..

Hayley's singing on my speakers again.

What's happening tomorrow?

Morning meeting ...followed by a conference in the afternoon...replacing someone on the drums at night...

Sore throat's bothering me. Please, I don't wanna fall sick.

I'm reminded of the time when I was studying in malacca. Had the hostel room by myself. The quietness and stillness of the night as I mess around on my pc...

And I'll get caught off guard when a sudden gush of wind comes blowing in...

followed by the howling and wailing of the wind...

and I liked to wrap my blanket around myself..and build a make believe ' shelter' for myself..

Heh...it's been a while..

Come November. Time to buck up on work again.

Funny is..

.

.

amongst it all...

I remembered you..

Ja.

A parent's love..

2007-10-27T18:01:00.000+08:00

After being in this line for 3 months..I've come to realize something..

A parent's love for their child is immeasurable.

Every time I propose a savings plan for a person, usually I stress that the plan is for their retirement. For their own good when they enter into retirement age.

That doesn't seem to click for them.

But mention that the plan also serves as a way to provide a source of income and legacy for their kids, than they start to sit up.

Parent always place their children above themselves. It doesn't matter to them wether they have any funds for their retirement. Fact is, as long as their children have enough to eat, sleep and finish their education, they are more than contented.

I never realize and felt all this till I met parents of different ages..different background.

But they all the same.

And we can't 'outlove' them back. We can love them back as much as we can, but nothing compares to how much they love us. Grandma once said that a parent's love for their child is like a waterfall, it only gushes down, the water from below can never flow up as much.

I was touched many a times after meeting so many people. And I remember my parent's love for me.

And I remember that God's love for me, is ten fold, a hundred fold, thousands fold, more than how much my mom and dad could love me.

And how, I've taken for granted all these things.

.
.
.
.
.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Ja.

..Home..

2007-10-25T21:40:00.000+08:00

It never struck me that I was always proud of my hometown till you mentioned it to me..
O' little town of Alor Setar.

This is where I grew up.

I was naive, protected and very much under exposed.
I used to cycle on these streets. Trips to the library. Trips to 'supermarket'.

I always marvel at the progress we're making everytime I step back home. I'm now actually blogging at "Uncle John's". Something reeally similiar to Old Town Cafe. But we have wi-fi!!

wohoo!

Everything was...and still is simple.
We dressed simple. We ate simple.

Heck, we even talked simple.

From getting muddy at the local padi field, falling into giant longkangs...even flying kites with the strings tied to our bicycles...

Yea..I'm happy that I had a kampung life. We even tried jostling...we imagined that we were knights..with the 'spear-like-thing" ( dunno what that's called) then we charged at one another...thank God our brains went on to " please-don-be-stupid" mode just before we actually made contact..

Ah..the cheap food here.

Nasi lemak = RM 0.30
Wantan Mee = RM 1.50
Chap fan with 3 varietes = RM 2.50
Char Koay Teow extra large = RM 2.50

Living here = Priceless

Just went I thought I've seen it all..

was standing beside a clinic the other day when I spotted this..

This old chap was apparently chatting on his blue tooth set very loudly...was laughing and calling out numbers, jotting them down...

or so I thought...

till I waited a lil while more and realised...

he didn't have any head set on!

Alor Setar is such a friendly town, you don't even need another friend to talk and laugh to..

*shurgs*

I love this town.

Ja.

Of music, and a toast to friendship ^ ^

2007-10-17T12:21:00.000+08:00

Did I mention that I love music? ;)

When mom made me take up piano lessons when I was 7 years old I hated it. I hated to practice everyday, I hated to play the same old song again and again till it was perfect just to pass my exam every year.

Miraculously, I finished my piano till grade 8. How I did it, I don't know. But when I finished it, I wasn't proud of any sort of that achievement. I was just glad I'm done with it.

Funny thing is, I'm ever so grateful that mom made me finish it. Cos, now I really love music. :p

I had to chance to do a simple recording with my friend for the insurance company I work for, Great Eastern Life. It's a chinese song, kinda like a motivation song so they needed people to record it full band.

Yea.

Me + my friend = Full Band.

Ironically, Great Eastern contacted my friend's contact to get us to do the job. When he came with the rough track, he said (I quote) " This song is for those losers working at that insurance company to boost their sales..."

I gave him a snort. And quipped" I'm an agent for them."

You should've seen his face. It went from blue to red. Next 20 seconds all I could hear was the apologetic choir coming from his voice.

Nevertheless, it was an enjoyable experience. It's been a while since I went back to the studio, having everything miked up and a pair of earphones and did some recording.

I recorded drums, bass and keys. My friend recorded lead and rhythm guitars.

Something really really basic, but I'm was happy with it. heh.

This is Meng, our recording guy. I like working with him cos he's quite good at it. Real helpful and he even did his own mix on the previous song I recorded with him with my previous band, Ave. I liked it a lot. :)

Enough of that. Remember the times when you were small, and you walked into toys 'R' us? And you could spend the whole day there just looking and staring at the toys with saliva coming out of your mouth?

It's like that for me whenever I walk into a music store.

I literally become a small kid again. I could spend hours there. Just talking to the people there, trying everything.

hmm..I think it's more of gawking..and thinking of ways to rob a bank so that I could get my hands of the stuff...

I walked into Bentley few weeks ago. As usual I loitered there till they closed shop. :p

This is a TAMA Superstar. (if I'm not mistaken)

*deep sighs*

I could almost hear the cymbals calling out my name...namee...name....

This was a surprised. I've visited them so many times, but they didn't show case it.
THEY ACTUALLY SELL CAJONS!

*crap*

I thought I could start a cajon selling business one day.

Anyway.

My Ideal Sunday.

Last sunday was almost something like my favourite kinda sunday.

After a hearty dinner with me bandmates..

checking out a music studio which might be our potential long-term jamming place in the future.

Making connections and testing out guitars..

Pearl Forum Series. The cheaper and more budget drums. But I lurve it. It has a nice heavy and more bassy boom on its bass drum, and the toms gives a deeper stronger feel. For me, beats our church's Yamaha Stage Custom anytime.

The studio offers a set amount of RM 250 a month. Unlimited jamming hours. Just have to book early in advance.

They even offer you half an hour jamming free to 'test drive' ;)

We're gonna check it out this sunday with our own gear and see.

After hanging out at the studio, we headed to SS2 and met up with a bunch of friends.

There's nothing better than chilling at a nice cafe, with nice cool drinks, board games, stupid jokes, catching up, with no obligations to go back cos of work the next day ( public holiday next day)..

and of course, to end with a game of shouting " INTERCEPT" playing Uno..

And laughing at people who has so many cards on their hands till they needed both hands..

heh..

" of music, and a toast to friendship"

Cheers.

Ja.

If I could

2007-10-16T18:27:00.000+08:00

If I could do one thing in this life...the ONE thing in this life..

where I don't have to worry about my paycheck..

and I don't have to be concern about building any families or career or watever...

.
.
.
.
.

I just wanna do THIS all my life..

An opportunity

2007-10-04T00:21:00.000+08:00

..when you pray for patience, God doesn't give you patience..He gives you an opportunity to become patient..

..when you pray for courage, God doesn't give you courage..He gives you an opportunity to learn how to be courageous..

..when you pray to be close to your family or someone, He doesn't give you a warm, fuzzy feeling, He gives you an opportunity to be get close to him/her/them...

taken from movie Evan Almighty

"Lord I pray for so many things. I ask for so many things. But I've missed so many opportunities. "

When the world comes crashing down on you..
I have only You to find solace..
Hide me under Your wing..
Let me escape in Your presence..

Thank you for sharing your life with me..

Ja.

Come October

2007-10-01T00:24:00.000+08:00

Go September..

A lesson learnt..

A friendship fades away..

A new friendship is made...

Come October...

A new focus instilled..

A new direction....

Am I ready for this?...

Am I ready for you?..

I stand at the edge and shade my eyes
The glare from the sun burns..
All I see are mountains and deep valleys

The whistling wind deepens my fears
Shadows creep up to grapple my heart
Fear cripples my heart, crushing down all elements of hope

.
.
.
Yet, in spite of it all
I have You.
I have Your assurance. Your promises.

and I hold on to it tightly.
so dearly to my heart.

Your providence.
Your faithfulness.
I remember. I remember.

I take a deep breathe.
My eyes fixed on you.
I lift my left leg..
I breathe again.

Let's do it, Father.

and I step in front.

OUR NEWEST MEMBER!!

2007-09-27T14:56:00.000+08:00

House number 147, USJ 12/2A proudly WELCOMES its newest member.....

*drum rolls*

RRRrrrr...

Rrrrr.....

Rrr..

.
.
.
.

MR KEN SING!!!

Welcome....housemate!!

Here's to the many hokkien sessions I'm gonna get, football kaki's which I've missed so dearly,
FOOD HUNTING!!

CHEERS!

Ja.

I can't help it...

2007-09-25T00:59:00.001+08:00

More Paramore, people...sorry, I can't help it...just keep falling in lurve wif them..

" Somehow everything's gonna fall right into place
If we only had a way to make it all fall faster everyday
If only time flew like a dove
Well God, make it fly faster than I'm falling in love

This time we're not giving up
Let's make it last forever
Screaming "hallelujah"
We'll make it last forever

Holding onto patience wearing thin
I can't force these eyes to see the end
If only time flew like a dove
We could watch it fly and just keep looking up"

Somehow I could identify with what they were singing..

Some bands suck in accoustic versions. You know what I mean. Their pitching is enough to derail a train, and some even sing lower versions from the original because, yea, they just can't do it ACTUALLY.

Haley hits this song perfectly, with guitars and all. No pitching problems. Perfect vocals. Smooth guitar play. And, she's so darn cute. *blush*

This is their last song playing at a place called Anaheim. Been watching these vids everyday. Check out how she interacts with the crowd, and gets the crowd wild towards the end. I lurve the way how the guitars came together to rock it out towards the last part. Kinda like what we did during our CF Anniversary.

What more can I say about this band? They rock full band and accoustic. They have really good personalities, no full vulgar words coming out of them, no smoking..pot, cigarettes or whatsoever..real humble people.

More updates from my recent OA mission trip soon. And my car died too.

Anyone who haven't really heard of any music from Paramore, just get it from me, or from youtube. And you call yourself a music lover????

:P

Ja.

Paramore!

2007-09-19T12:45:00.000+08:00

It's been a long long while since I talked about music. I remember one post where I talked about Story of the Year, and shared with them my song of the season " Sidewalks". And it had a few people coming up to me asking me to pass them the song. Even had a few of them falling in love with the song as well. :P

..I'm so not supposed to be blogging about music now..somebody please scream at me drag me off to work!..

I did reviews on Story of the Year, Korn..lemme see..anything else..?

Ladies and gentlemen, let me present to you my reeeeally favourite band of the moment..

PARAMORE!!

They're not really new to me, but they have been a long time favourite of mine and with the release of their new album, RIOT! and a big chunk of new mtvs and live shows available on the net, it's time to proclaim my new found love for this band.

What's so special about this band that I've fallen in love with?

They bring about a new sound of rock. Not really anything like a typical punk or some screamo band..Most of their songs are depended on high energy driven rifts combined with a soft touch of added high-notes-feel which brings about a beautiful, full and rich sound. I've been trying to play lots of their songs on the guitar, and I realised that the chords they used are just so simple and yet not the typical chord progression. Making something simple sound so cool, and also their songs have a unique character of high-energy, rest, high-energy, rest..so on..Something so different!

They've totally qualified my criterias of being on my all-time-favourite list, which is:

1.) have a keng chao/super stylo/just-so-freakin' good drummer
2.) vocals which totally blow you away
3.) guitar play which can totally shred your house to pieces
4.) rock HARD live, not only the pretend-ones on their MTVS.
5.) good personality and good message in their songs

optional:
6.) really cute girl vocalist. :P
7.) strong crowd interaction

Here's a video from their newest album.
It's called " Hallelujah".
I really advise especially you people who are into music to click on it and be patient and wait for it to load and not just skip it cos it's really worth the wait. You'll know what I mean ,all those I stuff I mentioned above.

Although it's not stated anywhere, I have a feeling that they're Christians. It shows in their songs, where it talks about faith, miracles and like the above, Hallelujah. Just a hunch, so I'm not really certain about their religion.

Another thing which totally got me backing them up is their average age. Their oldest band member is 22 yrs, Jeremy the bassist. Youngest, is, holy cow, the drummer, who's only 17. Anyone remember the 'Conspiracy' song we did last year for Battle of the Bands? yea. that keng chao rolls during the verses came from this kick ass drummer, who's only 15 back then.

The singer, Haley is only 19. Yet she sings like Avril Lavigne. Her vocals is just so good, and all the local performances back here I've watched so far, by GUYS, can go stick their head in the bucket once you've watched the way SHE rocks the stage.

Oh, for the gals, you're in for a treat cos they have a cute lead guitarist. Who by the way goes by the name of Josh. Josh Farro. :p He's brothers with the drummer, Zack Farro.

( why are most drummers the *ahem* bigger sized ones?)

To truly judge a band, is to watch their live videos. Cos there's where no editing is done, no cover-up, no extras. What you see is what you get.

I've been watching countless of their live videos. and they're truly amazing. pure skills.
I feel that this accoustic clip is one of the best so far. Think they're playing live for a radio station. They're super TIGHT. Watch as their hand movements and feet tapping are so in sync.

They're upcoming at the States. Not yet really mainstream. I hope the day when our country will start airing their songs. Want to find out more? Go youtube. Or get their newest album from me.

They even did Foo Fighters' "My Hero" cover with X-men. Watch it if you're got the time~

Paramore rocks!

Ja.

the longing heart

2007-09-16T01:07:00.000+08:00

have you ever..

looked at someone else and wish...and long that you could have what they're having?

looked at something with your heart, and not your eyes?

I wish that my band could make it as big as them, and even bigger..

I wish that I could write songs..lyrics..effortlessly...

I wish that I could have someone to love so much..someone to protect..someone to give to..

I still believe that He has prepared everything for me in His perfect timing..

I don't know whether if it'll be like anything I dreamnt of.. or hope for..but I know He knows best..

sighs..guess this is what happy weddings and established bands do to your heart..

they mess up your already messed up heart.

In your timing. In your favor. In your blessing.

I pray and trust in You for all these.

August

2007-08-31T13:12:00.000+08:00

Let's see where I've been and what I've been up to for the month of August. I've been traveling so much till my body finally broke down 2 days ago and I fell sick. Lemme see, 4 trips back to Alor Setar, 2 trips to PD, 1 trip to malacca and 1 trip to penang. Yea. Pretty much that's what you need to get me sick. It's not all work. Partly for work, partly for band, for leisure, and also to help out some friends.

Anyway I had to chance to work for D'Jungle People. Guess what I was assigned to this time...?

Uhuh..I had to dress up like a pirate. Some even they held at 1 Utama. I was not alone tho..

We had to walk around 1 u carrying clues for teams to solve for their game. It's like a massive name finding game-task-doing-game with 400 employees for a company running around hunting for us. Was fun. heh.

Everyone stared of course. We had people walking up to us to take pics as well.

This is Kelly. The ah-belle lookalike. Doesn't she look Isabel? no?

Going back home more often now gives me the chance to meet up with my buddy, Chuckie. 8 years ago I held this lil pup in my arms and he was dirty, smelly and hurt. Somehow the owner didn't really care for him. We took him home, and now if he stands on his 2 feet, he's as tall as my chest level.

Remember the story I told about a monitor lizard entering my home years ago? And how me, my dad and Chuckie had a hard time catching that reptile?

Well, whad'ya know, few weeks ago was just coming back from an appointment at my home when I met...

Long TIME NO SEE!!! This was taken at just my neighbour's neighbour.

After chatting and catching up, he decided to ciao first...

Anyway I didn't take pics for so many events. Lazy. But check this out....our friend Ee Chia actually grew in height and size!!

Power right? Almost the same height as me..Dunno what she ate....
...

...

Yea..actuallyyyyy..that's not Ee Chia. That's Elaine.( I hope I spelled it correctly) We met at LIFE Retreat Camp. But she looks soooo like ee chia. She talks like her, smiles like her..hair also same....

Anyway that's about the pics I have for now. Should've taken more. Work's been good. Life's been good. Financially, I have tasted what it's like to have no money. Because I don't get a fixed basic salary, my income is based pretty much on how I perform in my work. Till now, I know what it feels to have your petrol 'empty' light switch on for the past 20 mins and have no money in the bank or pocket to pay for petrol. I've tasted what it feels to have no money to go out for a meal, and have nothing left at home to consume. To even open a new bank account for my money to come in, I had no money. heh. I will not be ashamed to tell this, sometimes when I go for conferences or camps, the powdered coffee and coffee mate they leave in hotel rooms comes in handy for me when I don't even have enough to buy coffee back home. Finally, you hope and pray that nothing goes wrong..your car...and your body...cos that's when cash is needed again..

I've tasted all this...And I could only say, that all this have drove me to work even harder..to treasure every cent and ringgit that I earn...

And God has been good. He is good.

Though I had to cut down on some church activities, I still chose to honour Him on Sundays. I didn't choose to work on the Sabbath. I still chose to serve faithfully when I still can.

I've been blessed out of my socks. In one month of sales, comparing to a new agent, I think I've seen and met much more less people than they. I've work much less than them. The average sales you will get out of 10 people you see will be around 1 or 2. Sales people, I think you know best..

I've didn't have to walk that path. Out of 5 people I meet, 3 people will take up the offer. Out of 10 people, 9. In a month, God has blessed me with an income larger than I can ever imagine. How large? Let's just say more than 3 times the amount I was hoping for my first income.

I will always be grateful.

Thank you for the life You gave
Thank you for the promises You made.
You walk with me through fire
I trust in You
Every blessing I have, I will turn it into praise.

Ja.

Let me get that for ya

2007-08-14T21:13:00.000+08:00

This got me laughing so hard I almost pee-ed..

Thru my eyes

2007-08-09T14:37:00.000+08:00

Stuff I've gone through.. and places I've been for the past few weeks through my eyes..

Or my specs..

I don't have many pics...should try to take more ...

Peng Hoe and Rosalyn's wedding. I was roped into performance. With the people above and part of FourLetterStory. Nope, that hand on Jay's right shoulder isn't mine. :P

Oneted at One Rock. I realised not many people do get a chance to have this kinda view. From the stage I mean. So while everyone was setting up, I took up my phone and started clicking..

and clicking...

then suddenly I spotted a bunch of people are actually posing 'sailor moon' style...

yesh...mel , auds and deric..

I wanted to post this up at The Star. Buthen lazy. Was going home one late night, while entering the usual USJ 12 school, traffic got held up by this gigantic monster..

I don't even know what it is..it took up the whole road and still managed to do 'cornering'..

I took this photo waaay back at teenacity camp. I think.. My fingers bled cos of excessive drumming.

I was wandering at One U the other day when I was this...

Took my breathe away....

You would look more than a princess ...

Here's a short clip of the Unit Trust Conference I attended few weeks ago..

Are you asking ' what the heck is cy doing there?'

Yea he pops up there and then here and there..

I'm done.

Thought I've gone through my folder when suddenly..She pops up too..

Have you ever seen such a cheeky grin?

:D

Ja.

Running on a Dream

2007-08-09T09:51:00.001+08:00

Remember the times when we used to dream?
When was the last time you last dreamnt?
.
.
.
.
.
Was it when you first took up this responsibility?
Was it when you first came out to work?
Was it when you heard a certain song on a radio?
Was it when you saw a certain band..? ... a business..? a restaurant..?....a dance..?

Remember?

Why do you 'remember' then?

Remember is to recall a certain memory which isn't there anymore.
Why is it gone?

Did the routines of life bury that dream?
Did you let someone come up to you and said ' this is life, wake up' bury that dream?
Or were you so occupied with the 'now' that you let the 'then' slip away?

Heya..

re-ignite that dream. :)

and ask yourself. do you really want it?

because if you do..

you can have it.

and I believe in you.

Ja.

The Charmer

2007-08-04T11:07:00.000+08:00

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.

You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority and rules.

Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.

You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller!

In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart.

You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. And you do break a lot of hearts.

At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do.

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding

When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused

What's Your Personality Type?

When everything you once held fades away..

2007-07-15T22:58:00.000+08:00

Scattered words and empty thoughts
Seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before
Seems I don't know where to start
But its now that I feel your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip washing away my pain

I still believe in your faithfulness
I still believe in your truth
I still believe in your holy word
Even when I don't see, I still believe

words and lyrics from Jeremy Camp

Sometimes anticipation is still not enough to match realization and reality..
When it hits you, it still hits you hard..

When everything you once held fades away..
Your strength..
Your will..
Your direction..

Your..

Confidence..

All there's left is a figure, waiting to shut itself from the world..

Escape..

.
.
.
.

Lord I still believe..
Even though I can't see..

Rescue me..

I need You now more than ever..

Places I've been to..

2007-07-06T03:26:00.000+08:00

Been a while. Yea. It's really cos I've been too busy to blog. As of now, I'm posting cos I can't sleep. Legs too itchy cos of the damn mosquitoes. And ate too much supper just now. Bakka. Where have I been to? I can't really remember since my last posting, but I'll just upload what I can remember.

Anyway I joined up with this band called The Ha-Ha's. Found them on jamtank looking for a drummer. After listening to their music, I didn't really think so much, just pm-ed them and said I'll be their sessionist. Since then, I've been privileged to jam in canggih-manggih studios I've never been to before, and also have the experience to be the only chinese dude trying to look cool in a place crowded with bumiputeras. hehe. You can check them out here. Even got my name as 'drummer' now. Haha.

Anyway, there's this studio hartamas which we jam in last month. Before we went, my bassist Ramzi sed " eh Joshua, sini studio best la. Drum set dia cukup ok. tak semacam drum set studio kat Akakarya". I was laughed with him and was thinking " ok, shouldn't be some drum set I haven't tried before."

Boy was I wrong. The moment I stepped into the studio, I glanced at the drum set..and lo and behold...

I almost cried..It was...so...beautiful..

hehe. Anyway. Let me show you the wonderful studio. It's called Black Brown Blues.

Wait..

I think it's Blue Black Brown...

or..

Brown black Blues....

.....

hmm..anyway..here we go..a tour of the studio..

Yes Enoch..you can wipe the saliva of your mouth..your t shirt wet already..:p

the most canggih drum throne my butt has sat on. church's drum seat is made like the bicycle seat, which I really think is not good for guys after seating so long...almost like crushed walnuts...

............

Anyway music wise, it's been quite enriching. I haven't stop growing and moving forward. Don't have photos for The Ha-Ha's gig, but for the other gig can check out at my housemate's blog.

Went for a mini worship concert with Acstream at Sentul. Once again at moments like these I'm always reminded of the gifts and talents God has given me. And I'm glad I used it to serve the King of Kings.

Teens. Starting to get more involved in this ministry. To praise and worship with teens. I tell you. there's much more freedom. more liberty. and I get a sore body or sore neck after that. hehe.

work.

Wow. So much has happened. I can't possibly jot it all down. at least for now. But it has taken me to places. Everywhere. And I lurve it. I like to be everywhere and anytime.

Recently I headed to Great Eastern office at jalan ampang where we had a seminar. Last time went I was working for D'Jungle People, we held team building for companies thru seminars. Everyone would be wearing the same t shirt. I often wondered that time, what is it like to be working in a giant corporate, walking among hundreds of employees, wearing the same baju, talking the same lingo.

well. I didn't have to wonder no more...

hehe..

felt quite stupid at first..till both my bosses popped up spotting what everyone's wearing too! hehe. Then it felt better. keke..

It's getting late now.
I mean early.

My work brings me to places everywhere, like I mentioned before. Usually, alone till I meet my prospect or client.

Past few days was crazy. Out of the blue I have MDRT's popping up like mushrooms talking to me.

ah. the work life.

Taken at Ikano.3.45pm.

Time to bed. I miss a lot of people. Haven't seen them in a while. You see the empty chair opposite me in the pic above?

I wish it was you sitting there. and you. and you. and you...

ja.

GIG!

2007-06-23T11:16:00.000+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen..GIg GIg GIG!!

I'm sessionist for one of the bands...The Ha-Ha's. We're having a gig this Sunday at Little Havana. Starts at 6pm.

The music we play : http://myspace.com/thisisthehahas

I'd classify it as bossa nova, blues and a lil' bit jazz.

Do come and check out other bands. I heard that they're not the normal local emo bands. Old school musicians with good skills and strong music taste.

Let me know if you wanna come.

HoLy SmOkEss!!

2007-06-18T15:31:00.000+08:00

LaDies and GentleMan..

presenting to you..
the new album from The Used..

You JUST gotta have this album if you're a fan of emo punk/emo rock/rock/I-don't-care-what-genre-anymore..

Mr Neo introduced to me to the The Used few years back, tho that time I wasn't interested yet cos of the screamo parts. Funny thing is I'm a bigger fan of them than he is now.

oh man..the new album..is SSooo good..every song is just awesome!! the energy and the arrangement of each song is just fantastic. It's almost like My Chemical Romance's (MCR) newest album, but of course not so radio friendly. heh. The feel of 'circusy' is only there for a few songs. Expect power drives and chops from the guitar, crazy energetic drum grooves and rolls, rocking bass chops, and Brett's ( vocals) screaming vocals.

Their old drummer Branden left the band. That's the only sad thing. I liked him a lot. Lots of my drumming is influenced by him. Sighs.

Anyway, if u're a fan of MCR, then I strongly suggest that try out The Used. Tracks like

"Earthquake"
"Hospital"
"Paralyzed"
"Pretty Handsome Akward"
is a must check-out

And you can see them experimenting their music with tracks such as

" "With Me Tonight", "Wake the Dead"..which sounds more jazzy and circusy..

Then of course, usually for lots of screamo bands, their one and only slow song in their album, is like damn 'chun' wan.

Check out " Smother"..

Heck, I almost named the whole album already..

hAHa. Check them out.

Ja.

New Direction

2007-06-13T18:25:00.000+08:00

Attention people. I've started to 'work' already.
No more bumming. No more 'sampah masyarakat'.

muahaha.

what work you say?

It's a new direction. Something which I'd never thought I would do.
But for the past 2 months has been so good. Really felt that it was God showing me my calling.
Yea. I don't dare proudly proclaim it to be my 'calling'. At least not yet.
But I'm entering it with peace in my heart after much prayer and counselling. And I DO hope that it'll be my calling.

Before I reveal what is. Let us see what lead me to burn my bridges and came to this decision.

Music has always been a part of my life. It's not a hobby anymore. Heck, it's not even a passion. It's a part of me. Somethin' like your body part, ya know? Prolly your leg. Your liver. Usus besar. Whatever.

One fine day I put up " management trainee or financial planner" on my yahoo status, and out of 10 replies, I got 9 replied me " drummer"

......

If it pays that well here, I'd throw myself into it straightaway, man.
Plus all the mamak sessions after practice every night,
yea..I can see myself like this..

I need a job that could give me flexible time for music.

Next up.

I always wanted to start a business.
Why? Business gives you the flexibility. further more, how much you get is really how much work you put in it. I lurve that challenge. If you're hardworking, the skies the limit.
But no money or capital or start business. Heck, I don't even have money to survive for this month.
If only I could become like this dude..

oOo yea.
But tak jadi. Cos he's not a rocker.

So...

I aM NOW...

(drum rolls)

A FINANCIAL PLANNER!!
(applause, applause)

Thank you. Thank you.

Ok. Don't smack your head or roll your eyes k. And please don't assume whenever I say' let's yum cha' I'm gonna start preaching about my products. I'm NOT like that. I hate it when people did this to me last time and start shoving down their products down my throat. So don't shun me or stop becoming my friend k? :)

It doesn't mean I won't approach anyone of you. But, I'll let YOU know what I would be talking about. If interested, let's see together what I have. If not, it's ok, we'll talk about babes and football. For girls, yea we could talk about guys and lipsticks..

and football..

Can? Sounds cool? ;)

Ja.

Changes

2007-06-06T01:35:00.000+08:00

I remember you used to tell me..

how you felt the people who were once close to you were drifting apart..

how you felt that they never really cared..that they could move on so easily..so quickly..

I was there..

And I wondered why you got gloomy and upset about these people, when you had other people..when I was there.. trying to care..

And now..

seems like history replaying itself..only difference is ...I'm not the bystander..

I tried to protect. to avoid it from happening.

I thought you would, too..

But you turned around and said " Changes. We just have to deal with it."

And you became just like them.

Alrighty. Let's just deal with it then.

Let's embrace these 'changes' then.

Ja.

Thanksgiving

2007-06-02T22:38:00.000+08:00

It's been more than a month now since I last worked.

More than a month ago that I had to wake up early every morning, dress up, take a long drive to work. Come back from work dead tired and prepare for night activities. Sleep, and prepare for the next day's routine.

More than a month ago that I received a monthly pay cheaque. That I had the luxury of going anywhere I wanted to matter how far, (company covered my petrol), that I could afford saving some money at the end of the month, that I could give to other people.

More than a month, I've lived my life so differently.

All I could say, is that in this short space of time, I'm just full of thanksgiving.

As I look back, it's amazing and wonderful to see how God arranged and planned everything for me so perfectly. Every experience, every new activity I went in, had a purpose and influence on my future.

How? One would ask..

Shortly after I stopped working, I attended a financial seminar organized by church. It was there that I realized the importance of using money wisely. How we should be good stewards of money. How we should plan far ahead into the future. And how foolishly I was managing my money during that time. Little that I know that this conference might be playing a key role in my life and career. We will soon find out about that.

I had to opportunity to join D'Jungle People. During that time I was considering what would it be like working for a huge corporate or MNC, since my last company was a china men company I was escaping from. It was during D'Jungle that our clients were giants like Maxis, Digi and BAT. Just being with them, and observing them gave me a taste of what it would be like without actually getting employed by them.

Music. The experiences from music alone are overwhelming. I need not elaborate further. heh.
The places I went to, from KL jam asia to watch Estranged, to bukit Jalil with Good Charlotte, to Singapore. Music will be my life. I can't escaped from it anymore. It is evident.

All these experiences play significant roles in helping me discover my future. And God orchestrate it so perfectly. One after another.

The faithfulness of God. Even when I was faithless. And directionless. He never fails.

I had no lack throughout the entire period. I managed to save even more than when I was working. Yes, even after attending 3 weddings. ( you know, the ang pow. :P) God opened doors and windows of opportunities for me to earn, to survive. He 'gave' me trips to Malacca, Singapore. Holidays and camps paid for in full. With extra to bring back home too. :) I never had to borrow money from anyone. I didn't need my family's support. God took care of everything.

Thanksgiving. I'm so full of thanksgiving to my Jesus, my God. Who takes care of His children. Protects them so jealously. When I first quit my job, He took me from ground zero, from despair and disappointment and protected me.

The timing of everything. It's perfect.
Only God's timing is that perfect.

You know what? I'm just so happy that I know God. heh. I really am.
that I have a God who loves me *thiiiSSSss* much.

Wanna know Him? ;)

Ja.